Tuesday Has No Phones

My car issues somewhat taken care of (for now, anyway, it goes in for a second checkup in a couple of weeks) I was finally able to write back to the Baptist preacher.

Again I won't quote his email since it's not kosher to publicly post private letters, so here's the bullet point summary of what he said:

1) He thanked me for my thoughtful reply and hoped that his letter would be seen as a thoughtful reply in return

2) He pointed out that there are many banners and signs that are put on rotation in front of his church, including banners in support of the troops, banners in support of Israel, and banners proclaiming Jesus as Lord.

3) He disagrees with my Confederate flag comparison because the Confederate flag is a symbol of war, death, and segregation and the "Defend Marriage" banner is a symbol of none of those things.

4) He disagrees that the banner doesn't produce good results because it gets people talking to him, case in point myself. He says some are rude and some are nice, but it does start dialogue.

5) He says that the banner is about defining marriage, and if gay people want to be gay in the privacy of their own homes that's fine, but if they want to be married it's up to society to say "enough" and stop them.

6) He says the homosexual agenda is - and this is one that I'll quote since I can't reword it adequately and I think it's stand-alone enough that this one quote is okay - "not marriage but acceptance of deviant behavior that will only sell when society closes its eyes and ear to what is the long range plan."

7) He closes with another thanks for the dialogue and that he's happy to keep talking or to agree to disagree. He also says that the banner is only scheduled to be up for a little while longer before being put away for another time.

And that about covers it. BTW, as the bullet points indicate he's not short and pithy in his replies. I mention that b/c a couple of people thought I was being too wordy in mine and were thoughtfully recommending I pare it down so I don't bore the guy. Trust me, I'm not even hitting his word count ;)

Now then, on to my reply... ( Dear Pastor... )

Okay, here's what I wrote back to the Pastor of the Baptist church.

( All my words, not his )

Dear Pastor [Name],

I am not a member of your church but I am a member of your community, so I hope you don't mind me writing to you to introduce myself. My name is [TBQ], and I wanted to talk to you about that banner you have outside of your church.

I don't mean this disrespectfully. You see, I'm a Christian myself, though admittedly not a Baptist. I love Jesus Christ with all my heart and soul. I pray to God every day in the morning and at night and a lot of times in between as well. My entire family is Christian. My father is a Eucharistic minister. Many close friends of our family are priests, and missionaries. So I have nothing but respect for the amount of devotion to God that you must have in order to dedicate your entire life to serving Him as you have.

But, with due respect, is that banner the way you want to do it?

There's war in the world. There is poverty. There is disease. Do you honestly mean to proclaim to all who pass by your church that of all the wrongs you see in the world that gay marriage is the greatest priority on your list? Really? Not starving children, or tsunami victims, or the people who died in the London bombings? Not rape victims, or those who are dying of cancer, or the elderly shut ins of our community who don't have the means to take care of themselves?

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure that you and your church do care about all of those things. However I don't see any of those things listed on that banner that's so big I can barely see your church anymore, let alone anything else that it stands for.

I realize that gay marriage is against your faith. I'm not trying to convince you otherwise. Like the saying goes, it's a free country. You absolutely, positively have the right to put a banner outside of your church that asks people to defend families against homosexuals. I would be first in line to defend that right from any who would take it from you, and I think it's horrible that apparently at least three people have stolen your previous banners from you.

All I'm doing is, as someone outside of your church, pointing out to you what that banner's message is to someone who doesn't know you very well. And the message to me is that this is a church that apparently has a lot of time on its hands for stating the obvious and/or that this is a church that's more interested in big banners that don't really talk about anything important than it is about focusing on the glory of God's message. Gosh, sign me up! I'll see you this Sunday!

I realize from your perspective all that sign does is proclaim your support of families, and that supporting families is a Godly thing to do. But is this really and honestly the way that you want to do it? You're pro-family by being anti-something else? The strongest message of your church that you can give is that you absolutely, positively refuse to do something that nobody was going to make you do in the first place? Seriously? Nobody in the congregation suggested maybe putting your charity works up on a big banner instead?

Maybe I'm wrong. I mean you're surrounded on nearly all sides by antique stores so quite possibly there really are enough gay couples in the area that some have come knocking on your door and asking to be married inside of it. And like I say, I'll be the first to agree with you that absoultely no one has the right to force your church to perform gay marriages.

But right now nobody *is* doing that, and yet you're taking a huge stance against it anyway. That's not Christian, that's not Godly, that's just... dumb. I mean why not put up a big banner that lets everyone in the neighborhood know that your church isn't going to be forcing all its members to eat brussels sprouts at every Sunday service too? Trust me, we know.

If the purpose of that banner is to make people look at your church and see a house of God that is going to elevate the souls of everyone who is in it... I'd honestly ask for a refund from the person who made the banner for you.

There are so many ways that you can spread God's message and the mission of your church and that banner is absolutely none of them. I'm not saying you have to take it down, I'm just saying that since you presumably put that banner up so that people outside of your church could read it and see what you stand for, that's what it looks like to me.

There's more to loving God than deciding a stance on a single political problem, and I would never want to be a member of a church that, to all appearances, only cares about preaching one topic simply because it's the fashionable issue of the day. For that matter, I wouldn't feel particularly encouraged by a church which can only tell me how to support my family by giving me the advice "Don't marry a woman." Granted, I'm not married yet but I somehow suspect I'd need more words of wisdom than that in order to keep myself, my husband, and my children on the right spiritual path.

Again, you don't *have* to take the banner down, but you might want to consider it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Yours in God,
[TBQ]

The good news is that Connecticut is currently on a fast track to approve civil unions for same sex couples without anybody asking them to.

The bad news is that some people are so petty and insecure that they just had to tack on a "marriage is between one man and one woman" amendment to it.

Yes, because once those gays are approved to civil unionize with each other they're coming to get you.

Insert eyeroll.... here.

If you ever work in the customer service industry you come to realize that to the customer you are not you, you are the thing you represent. So, for example, if you happen to have worked at Blockbuster at some point in your existance (as you do), you undoubtedly got the hell chewed out of you by the customers for charging them late fees. It is not because the customer hates you personally, it's because they hate Blockbuster and you're the poor sap wearing the polyester blue shirt.

This has basically been my entire day, except for Blockbuster and customers, substitute Doc > me < patients, and all of them are pissed about money. The doc is pissed at the patients for owing him money (which is reasonable) but as he cannot yell at the patients, he yells at me. The patients are pissed that they are being told to pay money for the goods and services they have procured while in this office but because they can't yell at the doc or the insurance company that screwed them over by only covering five cents of a thousand dollar tab, they yell at me.

So I've spent my whole day being yelled at by people who aren't mad at me. I'm going to go out on a limb and call that anti-fun.

In other news, the US education secretary apparently feels that if you have children, you should not expose them to me. So for those of you with kids or even just pregnant, for the love of God please try to avert their eyes and, if pregnant, never ever think thoughts about me, because exposing your children to me carries the great and real danger that your children will be aware that I exist.

People have been asking what they can/should do to help fix things. I don't think there's any one answer. I think we're all going to find that the answer is going to be "The most that you can do." We all have different talents and strengths. Now what we need to do is figure out how to use them. I'm still working on it for myself, but here's some links to people with some good advise and food for thought:

Gays and Lesbians need to "be black".

Why those of us who disagree with Bush can't leave.

Advice for despairing progressives.

I know a lot of you have thoughts, ideas, and even communities you've started for just this purpose. How's about we make this an open post for anyone to pimp their thoughts, links, and suggestions? =)

Okay, finished watching the VP debate.

( Various comments ensue )

Bush 'disappointed by gay marriage ban's defeat. Yuh-huh. Pardon me while I wipe away the tears with my plastic hand. Though it is worth nothing that they're gearing up to take this to the House, so it looks like we're going to have to keep on our toes.

I must confess I'm particularly amused by the Bush campaign aide who is quoted as responding to Kerry and Edwards by saying "It takes a special kind of senator to attack others over a vote that they don't show up for." because you just know said person immediately thought of themselves as ten pounds of cleverness in a five pound bag. In fact, I can picture it now:

Jim: Oh my God, Bill, what did you say?
Bill: I said "It takes a special kind of senator to attack others over a vote that they don't show up for."
Jim: That is genious. Did you make that up yourself?
Bill: Yeah, it came to me just this second.
Jim: Shut up. That is brilliant. That is going on CNN, my friend.
Bill: [bashful] Sometimes I just get these inspirations.
Jim: Mary! Come here! Listen to what Bill just came up with!
Mary: What?
Bill: "It takes a special kind of senator to attack others over a vote that they don't show up for."
Mary: And that's in response to what?
Bill: Kerry and Edwards attacking the FMA
Mary: Kerry attacked the FMA?
Bill: Yeah, he said he's not for it.
Mary: Kerry expressed an opinion?
Jim: As far as we can tell, yeah.
Mary: Are you sure it wasn't "I'm pretty certain human beings require oxygen to live?"
Jim: No.
Mary: Because that sounds more like him.
Jim: No, he was against the FMA. He's been quoted about it and everything.
Mary: Okay. And we're commenting on...?
Jim: He didn't vote.
Mary: On what?
Jim: The FMA. He and Edwards didn't have the guts to show their faces in the Senate yesterday to actually cast a vote.
Mary: Aren't they out on the campaign trail?
Jim: Yes.
Mary: Don't politicians out on the campaign trail normally not show up to vote?
Jim: Well... yes.
Bill: But this was the FMA!
Jim: Yeah! The FMA!
Mary: Which we lost by twelve votes.
Jim: Well... yes.
Mary: And we all knew that.
Jim: Yes.
Mary: And this wasn't a vote on the amendment so much as a procedural vote, right?
Jim: Yes.
Mary: Which means there was even less reason for them to be there and more reason for them to stay on the campaign trail and thus save their contributors money right?
Bill: But he didn't show up!
Jim: Yeah! He's a coward! Him and Edwards both!
Bill: Little pussies who didn't take a stand.
Mary: Except for the quotes on CNN.
Jim: Well -
Mary: Which, as we know, is a very obscure and little known news organization
Bill: Yeah, but -
Jim: Maybe you need to hear the quote again? Because it's really funny.
Mary: Yuh-huh. Tell you what, I'm going to be over here now and continue to tell myself that if I help out this campaign it'll give me an in when McCain runs in 2008. You guys stay here and keep up with the comedy fest. All right?
Bill: Damn, what's her problem?
Jim: Who knows? She's probably gay.

Links from various folks on my friend's list.

Late to the party with this news, but apparently Congress is going to be talking about the Federal Marriage Amendment, aka "Marriage means one man and one woman ONLY and fuck anybody who says otherwise." this week. Go here if you want to send a message to your Sentators and Representatives opposing the amendment.

Moving away from gay rights to just rights in general, we have:

U.S. Mulling How to Delay Nov Vote in Case of Attack, aka "And you all thought I was kidding when I said it wouldn't surprise me if Dubya found some terrorist-related reason to prevent the presidental elections from ever happening."

Plus we have Bush Wins, House Leaves Patriot Act As Is, aka "Excuse me while I vomit into my own mouth."

I - I just - I want him gone. I want him gone so bad. Words cannot express how much I want this man out of office. I realize Kerry is a total politician who wouldn't definitively come out and say that the sun was shining if the rays from its light were currently crisping the skin on his cadaverous head but I don't care! He's not Bush! I would vote for John McCain and a kitten at this point! I want him gone!

Four months, people. We can do this.

So I have this cast iron rabbit on my porch? And I got it yesterday? And without fail, the two times I've come home (lunch and then at the end of the day) I've climbed up my steps and said to myself "Neat! A little animal has sat down on... oh, yeah. Duh."

I'd defend myself, but really how could I even try?

In other news, I'm jonesing for my camera to get here. It's a new toy and it's shiny and it's not here yet so I can push all the pretty buttons! Wah!

Also? Fellow fangirl lunamorgan is up for a $5,000 MTV Choose or Lose scholarship for her essay about Equal Marriage Rights Month. Check out her essay and vote for her, if you are so inclined. She's Jessica from Mableton, GA and if you like her essay then you vote #8 on the little poll on the bottom of the screen.