Rules for surviving the apocalypse with me
Mar. 9th, 2011 07:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebratqueenToday yet another coworker thanked me for cutting the excess pictures off of the sides of those slides. I feel like I've just done a reverse Crowley, where instead of releasing a tiny annoyance into the world I've released a small happy.
Anyway, I've been pondering this for a while thanks to shows like Walking Dead, and The Colony, and my recent viewing of Reign of Fire and thenstoney321> posted her are you ready to survive the Apocalypse or will I have to kill you and use you for dinner? quiz (I may be paraphrasing her title) (only slightly) and thus I was inspired to finally write down my list of shit you need to abide by if you're going to be hanging with me when the apocalypse comes.
Now this could be any apocalypse. Zombie, dragon, plague, zombie plauge dragons that shoot bees out of their mouths, whatever. And this is not a complete list by any means. But it is a list of things I've at the very least been compelled to shout in the direction of my TV screen, so now I'm writing it for all of you. You're welcome.
Onward:
If you're going to hang with me when the apocalypse comes you need to know...
1. There is no such thing as having nothing to do.
2. Libraries are our friends. We are going to find one, if not several, and read all the books that teach us how to do shit.
3. There will be no ironing.
4. Chickens don't lay eggs when they're dead.
5. Fossil fuels are a finite resource now. Unless the apocalypse involves a rain of petrolum, get used to conserving.
6. If we have enough power to operate several, large enough to illuminate a castle, kleig lights and are not operating under a Passage-style light=life situation, then we have enough power to turn the damn lights off and fire up a water purification system.
7. If you don't know how to make a water purification system, see rule #2.
8. Related to #5, neither tanks nor helicopters get good gas mileage. If you need to make several long back and forth trips for no damn good reason, break into a Prius.
9. During a zombie apocalypse, a camp filled with nylon tents situated not that far from a major city does not send the "No brains to be found here" message you were thinking of.
Anyway, I've been pondering this for a while thanks to shows like Walking Dead, and The Colony, and my recent viewing of Reign of Fire and then
stoney321> posted her are you ready to survive the Apocalypse or will I have to kill you and use you for dinner? quiz (I may be paraphrasing her title) (only slightly) and thus I was inspired to finally write down my list of shit you need to abide by if you're going to be hanging with me when the apocalypse comes.Now this could be any apocalypse. Zombie, dragon, plague, zombie plauge dragons that shoot bees out of their mouths, whatever. And this is not a complete list by any means. But it is a list of things I've at the very least been compelled to shout in the direction of my TV screen, so now I'm writing it for all of you. You're welcome.
Onward:
If you're going to hang with me when the apocalypse comes you need to know...
1. There is no such thing as having nothing to do.
2. Libraries are our friends. We are going to find one, if not several, and read all the books that teach us how to do shit.
3. There will be no ironing.
4. Chickens don't lay eggs when they're dead.
5. Fossil fuels are a finite resource now. Unless the apocalypse involves a rain of petrolum, get used to conserving.
6. If we have enough power to operate several, large enough to illuminate a castle, kleig lights and are not operating under a Passage-style light=life situation, then we have enough power to turn the damn lights off and fire up a water purification system.
7. If you don't know how to make a water purification system, see rule #2.
8. Related to #5, neither tanks nor helicopters get good gas mileage. If you need to make several long back and forth trips for no damn good reason, break into a Prius.
9. During a zombie apocalypse, a camp filled with nylon tents situated not that far from a major city does not send the "No brains to be found here" message you were thinking of.
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Date: 2011-03-10 02:47 pm (UTC)