Anniversary speech
May. 14th, 2005 07:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebratqueenI'll be delivering this to the folks tomorrow, but I figured I might as well put a copy in the ol' LJ just for the heck of it.
To my parents on their 40th wedding anniversary:
You know, there's no pressure like trying to figure out what to tell your folks after they've been married for 40 years. To a certain extent I'm not sure there's anything I can tell you. I mean you've been at it four decades now. Surely one of you has taken the time to read the manual? (Probably Mom, if I had to guess.)
Still, I'd like to say something. For some strange reason I didn't get an invitation to your wedding, so I missed out on the chance to give you a reception speech. Plus I like to continue my constant attempts to make sure neither one of you writes me out of the will. My drugs and hookers habit isn't paying for itself, you know!
Or perhaps I've said too much.
Anyway...
To begin with, I'd like you both to know you're doing a great job. Obviously you're wonderful parents, because look at how perfect and flawless your youngest child is ([Elder Brother] and [Older Brother] being, of course, your test runs as you ironed the kinks out before getting to the wonderfulness that is me.) But this is a wedding anniversary speech - er, letter - I wanted to let you know that you're a pretty darned good married couple too.
Granted, what do I know? I currently live alone with two cats. But even so I get to watch you guys and see how you do. And it's because of you that I'm very lucky. Having gone out into the world and talked with people who you, as far as I'm aware, have not raised as your own children I know now that not everybody has the example of love and marriage that you guys provide. Most people think love is a myth. Some think marriage is a myth. They're not lucky enough to find out that both of those things are true. I am that lucky, because I've met you guys.
The two of you provide one of the best examples I know of perfect couplehood. You love each other, but you also respect each other and, perhaps more importantly, you like each other.
I wasn't there when the two of you met (and at some point here we really need to talk about why there was this decades-long snubbing of me on your part) but if I was I have to imagine that I would see two people who had found in each other their dearest friend, as well as their partner for life.
That the both of you have been together as long as you have and have, as far as I can remember, done nothing except all but glow with affection for each other is a pretty amazing thing. I don't know if that's luck, hard work, divine intervention, any of the above, all of the above, none of the above, or everything in between, but whatever it is it's pretty special. I hope I'm even half as lucky as you guys someday.
Now Dad oh-so-subtly hinted about his desire for a speech like this - and when I say "subtly hinted" what I mean is "all but put the request in neon and put said neon in a sign outside of my front door" - and I suspect he did so because he wanted to know what my real thoughts are about you guys. Or at the very least, what are the thoughts that I don't share with you in the day to day?
Well I've already blown the drugs and hookers confession for the first part of the "not normally shared" thing. But for the second... to be honest, there isn't much. What I feel about you guys I say, and that's because what you feel you say. Every day of my life you let me know how loved, cared for, and valued I am. That means the world to me, and I try to do the same to you two in return.
But just in case you wanted it in writing, here goes:
I admire you both. I think you are remarkable people. I am stunned by the strength and devotion to each other that you have shown through adversities that would have completely destroyed other couples.
Whenever I get sick I think of Mom, and the Herculean force of will it must have taken her to raise three children while struggling with migraines and the oh so fun joy of screwed up mental chemistry. I am staggered at how much she went above and beyond the call of normal motherly duty to take care of us, and I can only hope that if I have kids someday I can somehow manage even a fraction of the same.
I am in awe of Dad, who easily could've taken the problems that were brought on by Mom's illness and used that as an excuse to bail, to have affairs, or to in some way throw in the towel. Many men would, and a lot of people would've understood it. I also know that dealing with this is something that is not a one time thing. I don't know what, if anything, Dad might have given up because Mom's sickness asked more of him as a husband and a father than most men would have been expected to give, but if you have given anything up know that your daughter noticed it and is very thankful.
I admire the fact that you are both, at your fundamental core, the purest form of good people I have ever met. We may disagree about some issues, but there is nothing about you which is mean, or spiteful. You act in good and Godly manners. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that if I'm a spiritual person and one who has a good relationship with God, it's because you two gave me a good idea of how wonderful a divine parent can be.
If I'm a good person, it's also because of you guys. If I love myself, it's because you taught me that I was worthy of love. If I'm strong it's because you gave me a model of strength. If I'm funny it's because [Older Brother] and [Elder Brother] gave me a serious amount of competition to live up to, but on the flip side of that I'm sure you were involved with raising the boys somehow so I'm sure we can trace the humor thing back to you if necessary.
There's a quote from a movie that I like called Waking Ned Devine. It is: "The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself." Now we all have a deal where neither one of you is allowed to die so as you know there will be no funerals for you to visit and hear me talk. But, that being said, I don't want to be in a situation where the words that I've spoken are too late for either of you.
When I talk about my parents to friends and people that I meet, they're very often disbelieving. Apparently for most the love that you have, both parental and married, is something that so many regard as a fairy tale. Some people think that I'm simply leaving out the bad stuff. Others skip ahead and ask if there's some way that I can ask you to adopt them.
I don't know what I did that made me so cosmically lucky to be born to this family, to be raised by you, and to meet you, but whatever it is must have been very good.
Happy anniversary, and thank you so much for letting me be your daughter.
To my parents on their 40th wedding anniversary:
You know, there's no pressure like trying to figure out what to tell your folks after they've been married for 40 years. To a certain extent I'm not sure there's anything I can tell you. I mean you've been at it four decades now. Surely one of you has taken the time to read the manual? (Probably Mom, if I had to guess.)
Still, I'd like to say something. For some strange reason I didn't get an invitation to your wedding, so I missed out on the chance to give you a reception speech. Plus I like to continue my constant attempts to make sure neither one of you writes me out of the will. My drugs and hookers habit isn't paying for itself, you know!
Or perhaps I've said too much.
Anyway...
To begin with, I'd like you both to know you're doing a great job. Obviously you're wonderful parents, because look at how perfect and flawless your youngest child is ([Elder Brother] and [Older Brother] being, of course, your test runs as you ironed the kinks out before getting to the wonderfulness that is me.) But this is a wedding anniversary speech - er, letter - I wanted to let you know that you're a pretty darned good married couple too.
Granted, what do I know? I currently live alone with two cats. But even so I get to watch you guys and see how you do. And it's because of you that I'm very lucky. Having gone out into the world and talked with people who you, as far as I'm aware, have not raised as your own children I know now that not everybody has the example of love and marriage that you guys provide. Most people think love is a myth. Some think marriage is a myth. They're not lucky enough to find out that both of those things are true. I am that lucky, because I've met you guys.
The two of you provide one of the best examples I know of perfect couplehood. You love each other, but you also respect each other and, perhaps more importantly, you like each other.
I wasn't there when the two of you met (and at some point here we really need to talk about why there was this decades-long snubbing of me on your part) but if I was I have to imagine that I would see two people who had found in each other their dearest friend, as well as their partner for life.
That the both of you have been together as long as you have and have, as far as I can remember, done nothing except all but glow with affection for each other is a pretty amazing thing. I don't know if that's luck, hard work, divine intervention, any of the above, all of the above, none of the above, or everything in between, but whatever it is it's pretty special. I hope I'm even half as lucky as you guys someday.
Now Dad oh-so-subtly hinted about his desire for a speech like this - and when I say "subtly hinted" what I mean is "all but put the request in neon and put said neon in a sign outside of my front door" - and I suspect he did so because he wanted to know what my real thoughts are about you guys. Or at the very least, what are the thoughts that I don't share with you in the day to day?
Well I've already blown the drugs and hookers confession for the first part of the "not normally shared" thing. But for the second... to be honest, there isn't much. What I feel about you guys I say, and that's because what you feel you say. Every day of my life you let me know how loved, cared for, and valued I am. That means the world to me, and I try to do the same to you two in return.
But just in case you wanted it in writing, here goes:
I admire you both. I think you are remarkable people. I am stunned by the strength and devotion to each other that you have shown through adversities that would have completely destroyed other couples.
Whenever I get sick I think of Mom, and the Herculean force of will it must have taken her to raise three children while struggling with migraines and the oh so fun joy of screwed up mental chemistry. I am staggered at how much she went above and beyond the call of normal motherly duty to take care of us, and I can only hope that if I have kids someday I can somehow manage even a fraction of the same.
I am in awe of Dad, who easily could've taken the problems that were brought on by Mom's illness and used that as an excuse to bail, to have affairs, or to in some way throw in the towel. Many men would, and a lot of people would've understood it. I also know that dealing with this is something that is not a one time thing. I don't know what, if anything, Dad might have given up because Mom's sickness asked more of him as a husband and a father than most men would have been expected to give, but if you have given anything up know that your daughter noticed it and is very thankful.
I admire the fact that you are both, at your fundamental core, the purest form of good people I have ever met. We may disagree about some issues, but there is nothing about you which is mean, or spiteful. You act in good and Godly manners. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that if I'm a spiritual person and one who has a good relationship with God, it's because you two gave me a good idea of how wonderful a divine parent can be.
If I'm a good person, it's also because of you guys. If I love myself, it's because you taught me that I was worthy of love. If I'm strong it's because you gave me a model of strength. If I'm funny it's because [Older Brother] and [Elder Brother] gave me a serious amount of competition to live up to, but on the flip side of that I'm sure you were involved with raising the boys somehow so I'm sure we can trace the humor thing back to you if necessary.
There's a quote from a movie that I like called Waking Ned Devine. It is: "The words that are spoken at a funeral are spoken too late for the man who is dead. What a wonderful thing it would be to visit your own funeral. To sit at the front and hear what was said, maybe say a few things yourself." Now we all have a deal where neither one of you is allowed to die so as you know there will be no funerals for you to visit and hear me talk. But, that being said, I don't want to be in a situation where the words that I've spoken are too late for either of you.
When I talk about my parents to friends and people that I meet, they're very often disbelieving. Apparently for most the love that you have, both parental and married, is something that so many regard as a fairy tale. Some people think that I'm simply leaving out the bad stuff. Others skip ahead and ask if there's some way that I can ask you to adopt them.
I don't know what I did that made me so cosmically lucky to be born to this family, to be raised by you, and to meet you, but whatever it is must have been very good.
Happy anniversary, and thank you so much for letting me be your daughter.
