Protocol, Part Seventeen

[thebratqueen]

Previous parts can be found here.

PART SEVENTEEN

Xander and Spike were in what passed for the rec room.

"We're doing a family day," Angel announced.

Xander looked up from his game of pool. "We're doing a what now?"

"He's on a kick," Connor said, bypassing the pool table and vanishing into a supply closet.

"Family day," Angel repeated.

"Don't you have kingly things you could be doing?" Spike asked.

"I'm taking the day off so that Wes and I can spend time with the family," Angel said.

"Huh," Spike thought that over. "Aren't there relative to kingly things that *I* could be doing?"

"Fat chance," Connor called out, his voice muffled from behind the closet door. "I tried pulling chores too. No luck."

"There's *bound* to be something I could be killing," Spike offered, ever helpful. "Myself, for instance."

"It won't kill you to spend time with me and Wesley," Angel said.

"I *know*," Spike retorted. "That's the *point*."

"As a question," Angel said, "should I just write up little index cards that say 'Wes is family now, get over it' and staple gun them to your head? Because I'll do that."

"My Lord," Wesley tried.

"It's not about you, Wes," Angel said, not wanting to go through it with *him* either. Then he instantly amended it. "Well, it *is* about you, but not really."

"It's only somewhat about you," Xander said, extending an unexpected olive branch. "It's mostly about Angel."

"Yeah," Connor agreed, reappearing again with food in his hands. He had a teenaged boy's magic skill to find snacks in any situation. Once after a battle he'd vanished and reappeared with popsicles. Now it was chips and salsa. "Dad gets these weird ideas for bonding stuck in his head and then we all have to lose a day to it instead of doing something fun."

"Family day *is* fun," Angel said. Then, ever a father, added, "And you just ate."

Connor sat down on the couch. "Yeah, and I'm hungry again."

"You'll ruin your appetite."

"For what?"

"For… food," Angel said. Then seized on a vocabulary word. "Lunch."

"Lunch is hours from now," Connor said. "You want me to starve to death in the meanwhile?"

"At least eat something healthy," Angel tried.

Connor held up the salsa jar. "It's got mangos in it. It's like eating fruit, except I don't gag while I'm doing it."

"You know, when he was like, seven, he actually pretended to have table manners and everything," Angel told Wesley.

Wes was watching the whole thing with wide eyes. He blinked, then said, "Er - I'm sure my Lord raised him well?"

"Da-ad," Connor protested.

"Yeah, Da-ad," Spike parroted. He chalked up a cue stick. "Leave the boy alone. He's still growing."

"He's eighteen," Angel said.

"So obviously the diet hasn't killed him yet," Spike countered.

"He gets this from your side of the family, you know," Angel said.

"Yeah, he gets his looks and brains from my side of the family too," Spike said. "What's your point?"

"Spoken like the man who thinks I've forgiven him for the time he took my son out drinking," Angel said.

"That was months ago," Connor said.

"I don't think you've forgiven me," Spike said. "I think I don't *care*."

"He's a kid!" Angel said, warming up to the argument again.

"He's eighteen, or so someone told me," Spike replied.

Angel turned to Wes. "Don't you think Connor's too young to get drunk with Spike?"

Wes appeared to think about it, then offered, "I'm not sure there's an age limit on *anyone* who'd wish to get drunk while in Spike's company."

"When you were his age," Spike said, jabbing the cue in Angel's direction, "you were getting pissed every night and shagging everything that moved. So don't you start coming 'round all innocent about the dangers of demon liquor."

"I would just like my son to maybe pick up some of my *other* hobbies," Angel said.

"Out of curiosity," Xander asked, "which ones of those *besides* the drinking and the killing are we talking about? I mean if we're getting specific to the things you did when you were his age."

"I wasn't killing when I was his age," Angel said. Then paused. "I look 18 to you?"

"You know if you and I actually got along," Xander said, "I might find that adorably deluded."

Angel turned and found Spike staring at him intently. "What?"

Spike frowned, leaning forward. "What's wrong with your eyes?"

Angel tried to lean back. "Excuse me?"

Spike squinted. "Your eyes. You've got that - " he made a swirling gesture in the air " - look. Like when Darla told you she was pregnant look."

"I look like I want to throw up?" Angel asked.

"*After*," Spike said. "When you got past the ball-numbing panic and were on to mentally handing the cigars out to everyone you met."

"I do *not* have a look," Angel said. "And would you watch your language in front of my kid?"

"Wes," Xander said, as though cajoling an announcement out of him. "Do you and our little Angel have something you need to tell us?"

"Wesley and I do *not* - " Angel started, then suddenly got it. He turned to Wesley. "I have a look?"

"I may perhaps be a biased judge, my Lord," Wesley said. "But it would appear that you do."

Angel came closer to him, turning his back on the others for a semblance of privacy. "I thought you were kidding about that."

"Do I strike my Lord as being prone to flights of fancy?" Wesley replied.

"But it *sounded* - " Angel faltered. "You really gave me a look?"

Wes dropped his voice a little. "I give my Lord many looks. It is, after all, my job."

"People can actually tell that you and I - " Angel turned to Xander. "Do I look different to you?"

Xander leaned on his cue stick, tilting his head to the side. "Let's see… new shirt, you put those highlights in your hair, and you have *finally* accepted your fate as a summer and *not* a winter so I'd have to say that…. yes, I don't care in the slightest."

"You know I'm going to bring up these conversations whenever people ask me why I had no doubts you were gay," Angel told him.

"And yet you never hit on me," Xander made a thoughtful sound. "You know I don't think I thank you enough for that."

"I wanna see," Connor said.

"Connor, I can't hit on Xander," Angel said. "I'm married."

"Your *marriage* is the thing that's blocking you on that one?" Xander asked.

"Well 'oh my God it burns' seemed a little catty even for what we're calling a relationship," Angel told him.

"You could defend my honor," Xander told Spike.

Spike swallowed down a mouthful of beer from a bottle he kept handy. "Because I'm that het up on encouraging you and Angel to sleep together?"

"Speaking of God and the burning," Xander said, with an accompanying overly dramatic shudder. "But we were not speaking of the naughty touching. We were speaking of the flirtation and the flattery to my ego. My ego is besmirched, yet you sit there like the very mute lump on the undead log."

"Because you *want* Angel to flirt with you?" Spike asked.

"Well… okay, no," Xander admitted.

"So you want me to get into an argument with Angel to get you the right to a thing that you don't want in the first place?" Spike asked.

"I'm just saying it could cross your mind," Xander told him.

Spike turned to Angel. "I'm not dating mortals again. This is the last time, I swear it."

"Did I warn you about this or did I warn you about this?" Angel reminded him.

"I want to see the *eye* thing," Connor said, jumping into the conversation again when it didn't swing back his way naturally.

"No," Angel said at once. "You sit there. Eat your chips."

Connor's shoulders slumped. "Why can't I see the eye thing?"

"Because I said so," Angel said.

"Because it's about sex," Spike added.

Angel gave him a look. "*Spike - *"

"Like I don't know you and Wesley have sex?" Connor asked. "Yeah, okay, let's talk about how thick your bedroom door is *not*."

"I thought you said you were deaf," Angel told him.

"I told Wes I was as *good* as deaf," Connor said. "Because he's my new step-dad and I'm trying to be nice to him. Also there is a little trauma at the whole concept of you having sex thing."

"That's why I'm trying not to talk about it," Angel said.

"We can *talk* about it," Connor said. "I just don't want to *listen* to it. Or see it. No offense, Wes."

"None taken," Wes murmured, clearing his throat.

"You know," Xander said, "on the long winter nights? That is a story I *never* want to hear."

"But you can *talk* to me about it," Connor said. "I'm not a kid. I know about sex."

"Which is your fault too," Angel told Spike.

"Boy had to find out sometime," Spike said, philosophically.

"Yeah, from me in a man to man talk," Angel said. "Not from you having fun with his babysitter."

"Was she prettier than me?" Xander asked.

"Sadly no," Spike answered.

"I know about sex," Connor insisted. "Hell, I *have* sex."

"You are *way* too young for that," Angel told him, very aware that he was setting new world records in the Do As I Say, Not As I've Done Olympics.

"Please," Connor said. Then, apparently hoping to use his new step-dad as an ally, asked Wes, "How old were *you* when you first had sex?"

Wes looked taken aback. "I - "

"Don't answer that," Angel told him. "Connor, that is none of your business. Now apologize."

Connor looked hurt. "I didn't mean - "

"I know you didn't. Apologize anyway."

"Sorry, Wes," Connor said. The fact that he was genuinely contrite proved that Connor at least got *some* things from Angel's side of the family.

"It's quite all right," Wes assured him. He offered Connor a smile, then told Angel, "My Lord, I honestly don't mind - "

"Yeah, well I do," Angel said. "On your behalf."

Wes looked as though he didn't understand, but said, "As you wish."

"Just because you've been taught to be… what you've been taught to be for me," Angel said, "doesn't mean anybody has the right to pry into your personal business. And Spike, yes, there *is* a reason why I'm looking at you when I say this."

"Not that interested," Spike promised him.

"You have a right to privacy," Angel told Wesley.

Now Wes looked like he *really* didn't understand, but he tried to hide it behind a polite nod. "Thank you, my Lord."

Angel pulled Wes aside, again trying for a semblance of privacy. "That was all clicks and buzzes to you, wasn't it?"

"Not *all* - " Wes tried, then gave up and nodded. "I'm sorry, my Lord."

"So what'd I screw up?"

"My Lord, nothing," Wesley said.

"Because I never screw up anything," Angel said. "Right. How about you give me an answer I can work with?"

"My Lord may wish to recall that I am not to have rights to anything," Wesley prompted him.

"Yeah, but is that a not in that it's forbidden all the time or a not as in you just haven't had them before?" Angel asked.

Wes took a second before replying. "My Lord could change that status if he wished."

Angel wondered if it would do any good to point out that he could tell when Wes was avoiding an answer. Then he decided that he probably shouldn't give away the only tool he had to understanding the real Wesley. "Okay, then I'm changing that status. You have a right to privacy."

"Thank you, my Lord."

"You're still just humoring me with that, right?"

"I'm doing the best I can, my Lord," Wesley said. Angel saw a look not unlike worry in his eyes. "I can attempt to do better?"

"You're doing fine," Angel told him. He put his arm around Wes's waist, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Promise."

"Am I pleasing you?" Wes asked, quietly. "Is there more I could do to make you happy?"

"Just be here," Angel said. "With me. And them. You're part of my family now. I want you here."

"You *want* me in your family," Wesley repeated.

Angel wondered what he'd gotten wrong that time. "Yes."

"That pleases you?" Wesley asked. "To award me the same status as Connor? Or Xander? Or Spike?"

"I dunno if I'd call *Xander* family," Angel muttered. Then he saw that Wes was looking at him with all earnesty. "Yeah. Yeah, I want you to have the same status as Connor or Spike. You're my husband. You belong here."

Wes looked out over all the others. "You wish me to be a part of this."

Angel tried to guess what he was thinking. "It's a little rough around the edges. And I guess even this room isn't as nice as what you're used to back home. But yeah. This is what I've got to offer you. I know it's not much, but I want you to be a part of it."

Wes's hand startled him by slipping inside of his own. The movement was so subtle that Angel didn't even realize he'd done it until their fingers connected. "No, my Lord, it's actually very wonderful indeed."

Angel smiled, and decided to accept that.