What TBQ wants for Xmas
Nov. 19th, 2003 11:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebratqueenNow that THE spoiler for Angel 4.8 has aired, I thought I'd share some thoughts that have been kicking around in my head.
So Lindsey's back, and he shows up in some sort of big revealation/power play type thing where he's all "Bet you didn't expect it to turn out like this." and Angel's all "Way to reuse lines, loser." but secretly he's thinking "Tattoos + Lindsey = How you doin'?" and they fight and clash and wrestle and there's all kinds of bruising and stalemating and running off to separate corners while snarking off a few quips.
Angel goes back to Wolfram & Hart and Spike's all "Nice boyfriend" and Angel's all "Bite me, mini-me." and he's grumpy and snapping at everyone and tearing people's heads off because they can't put his coffee cup down in the right place.
Fred and Spike and Harmony are all "The Hell?" but Wes and Gunn and Lorne are all sharing significant looks and going "Here we go again." and the three of them just tell the others "Trust us, you don't want to know." while at the same time Gunn and Lorne start placing bets on how long it is before the physical battles end up involving Angel ripping his or Lindsey's shirt off by so-called accident.
Angel spends weeks tearing the place up and acting like he's got PMS because he's all riled up and he bitches and moans publically that it's because he can't trust the senior partners, he hates stupid prophecies, Spike's getting on his nerves and blah bliddy blah but secretly what's bothering him is that he knows seeing Lindsey again is the first thing that has gotten his blood really flowing. He's back in the game, and he both hates and wants Lindsey for it.
Wes, who has obviously been sleeping with Angel this whole time, quietly watches all this and in his best s3 Redux self spends night after night snuggling up with Angel, enjoying their versions of hot yet loving sex and he keeps telling Angel it's okay, they'll work it out, they'll find out what's going on and, of course, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce Speech #2, subfolder Angel, "This is only happening to distract you from your true mission. You've got to stay focused and keep your eyes on the true cause, such as figuring out that prophecy."
Angel knows it and tries to do it and he knows in his heart of hearts he doesn't really want the conflict because Wes is his new OTP, but by the same token it'd feel real good to just haul out and kick the crap out of Lindsey, possibly reusing the sledgehammer. But not, you know, in a gay way.
Lindsey shows up again. Just saunters into Angel's office nice as you please and postures and poses and pontificates and makes it clear he considers himself cock of the walk and in full view of the still-confused Fred throws in lines about how these days he's able to control all sorts of things with his evil hand, if you know what he means, and Angel just sits there and glowers at him from behind his desk and does that quiet "Daddy's not done talking yet" voice thing of telling Lindsey to get the fuck out. And Lindsey does the cat thing of leaving but only because he was leaving anyway, mind you, not because anyone told him to, and he saunters right on out again. And Gunn's all grabbing his cellphone and barking for security and Angel's all "Let him go" and Gunn's all Scottie Evil with "I could kill him right now" and Angel's all Big Swinging Dick CEO with "Let him go" and he sulks off to go sulk about it like a big sulky brooding guy.
The others who are left behind are all "The Hell?" and Lorne and Gunn are yet again with the significant looks and Spike's trying to join in now because, hello, not that stupid but Lorne and Gunn miss that because at this point they're used to the significant look of Lorne to Gunn to Wes except Wes isn't there and - hey, where is Wes?
Lindsey's outside, still sauntering except this time down a dark yet mood-lit alleyway on the way to his motorcycle or possibly pickup truck or maybe even a snazzy sports car and just as he's jangling the keys in his evil hand Wes steps out of the shadows all calm and "Mr. McDonald."
Lindsey turns around, sees who's talking to him, and goes, "Wes. Long time no real contact with each other whatsoever. What brings you out to my neck of the woods?"
Wes, hands behind his back, casually comes forward a few steps and says, "This is my neck of the woods, Mr. McDonald, not yours. It might benefit you to remember that."
Lindsey tilts his head and muses to himself that Wes is acting like he's got a pair and goes "Oh really?"
"Yes," Wes says, and he stands still, adopting a musing posture of his own. "It might also benefit you to remember something else."
"What's that?"
And the s3 Redux Wes posture is dropped entirely as Wes hauls out the Glock so fast it's there and pointing at Lindsey in half the blink of an eye, and it's lock you in a cage and forget about feeding you Wes staring Lindsey down as he says "That if you dare to come back here and disturb my lover again, I shall tear your hair out by its black roots." And then Wes pauses, and with a deliberate accent of irony adds, "Bitch."
Lindsey quirks his eyebrows and goes "This is a new look for you."
Wes goes, "A lot of things have changed in the time you've been gone."
Lindsey goes, "You really think you could pull that trigger?"
Wes goes, "You'd be surprised at the people I'm happy to kill with this gun."
Lindsey goes, "This doesn't end anything between us."
Wes goes, "There is no 'us', Mr. McDonald."
Lindsey smirks, and recognizes the stalemate, and steps off to go back to his car and says, "Until next time."
Wes fires off a shot, nice as you please, right through the palm of Lindsey's evil hand.
Lindsey cries out in pain and goes "God damn it!"
Wes calmly holsters his gun again and goes, "Never come near my lover again. Good night, Mr. McDonald." and he walks back into the darkness to return to Angel's side.
Somehow after that Spike and Lindsey end up having sex. And Angel and Wes continue their dark and passionate yet loving relationship. And Eve remains locked in an elevator.
The end.
So Lindsey's back, and he shows up in some sort of big revealation/power play type thing where he's all "Bet you didn't expect it to turn out like this." and Angel's all "Way to reuse lines, loser." but secretly he's thinking "Tattoos + Lindsey = How you doin'?" and they fight and clash and wrestle and there's all kinds of bruising and stalemating and running off to separate corners while snarking off a few quips.
Angel goes back to Wolfram & Hart and Spike's all "Nice boyfriend" and Angel's all "Bite me, mini-me." and he's grumpy and snapping at everyone and tearing people's heads off because they can't put his coffee cup down in the right place.
Fred and Spike and Harmony are all "The Hell?" but Wes and Gunn and Lorne are all sharing significant looks and going "Here we go again." and the three of them just tell the others "Trust us, you don't want to know." while at the same time Gunn and Lorne start placing bets on how long it is before the physical battles end up involving Angel ripping his or Lindsey's shirt off by so-called accident.
Angel spends weeks tearing the place up and acting like he's got PMS because he's all riled up and he bitches and moans publically that it's because he can't trust the senior partners, he hates stupid prophecies, Spike's getting on his nerves and blah bliddy blah but secretly what's bothering him is that he knows seeing Lindsey again is the first thing that has gotten his blood really flowing. He's back in the game, and he both hates and wants Lindsey for it.
Wes, who has obviously been sleeping with Angel this whole time, quietly watches all this and in his best s3 Redux self spends night after night snuggling up with Angel, enjoying their versions of hot yet loving sex and he keeps telling Angel it's okay, they'll work it out, they'll find out what's going on and, of course, Wesley Wyndam-Pryce Speech #2, subfolder Angel, "This is only happening to distract you from your true mission. You've got to stay focused and keep your eyes on the true cause, such as figuring out that prophecy."
Angel knows it and tries to do it and he knows in his heart of hearts he doesn't really want the conflict because Wes is his new OTP, but by the same token it'd feel real good to just haul out and kick the crap out of Lindsey, possibly reusing the sledgehammer. But not, you know, in a gay way.
Lindsey shows up again. Just saunters into Angel's office nice as you please and postures and poses and pontificates and makes it clear he considers himself cock of the walk and in full view of the still-confused Fred throws in lines about how these days he's able to control all sorts of things with his evil hand, if you know what he means, and Angel just sits there and glowers at him from behind his desk and does that quiet "Daddy's not done talking yet" voice thing of telling Lindsey to get the fuck out. And Lindsey does the cat thing of leaving but only because he was leaving anyway, mind you, not because anyone told him to, and he saunters right on out again. And Gunn's all grabbing his cellphone and barking for security and Angel's all "Let him go" and Gunn's all Scottie Evil with "I could kill him right now" and Angel's all Big Swinging Dick CEO with "Let him go" and he sulks off to go sulk about it like a big sulky brooding guy.
The others who are left behind are all "The Hell?" and Lorne and Gunn are yet again with the significant looks and Spike's trying to join in now because, hello, not that stupid but Lorne and Gunn miss that because at this point they're used to the significant look of Lorne to Gunn to Wes except Wes isn't there and - hey, where is Wes?
Lindsey's outside, still sauntering except this time down a dark yet mood-lit alleyway on the way to his motorcycle or possibly pickup truck or maybe even a snazzy sports car and just as he's jangling the keys in his evil hand Wes steps out of the shadows all calm and "Mr. McDonald."
Lindsey turns around, sees who's talking to him, and goes, "Wes. Long time no real contact with each other whatsoever. What brings you out to my neck of the woods?"
Wes, hands behind his back, casually comes forward a few steps and says, "This is my neck of the woods, Mr. McDonald, not yours. It might benefit you to remember that."
Lindsey tilts his head and muses to himself that Wes is acting like he's got a pair and goes "Oh really?"
"Yes," Wes says, and he stands still, adopting a musing posture of his own. "It might also benefit you to remember something else."
"What's that?"
And the s3 Redux Wes posture is dropped entirely as Wes hauls out the Glock so fast it's there and pointing at Lindsey in half the blink of an eye, and it's lock you in a cage and forget about feeding you Wes staring Lindsey down as he says "That if you dare to come back here and disturb my lover again, I shall tear your hair out by its black roots." And then Wes pauses, and with a deliberate accent of irony adds, "Bitch."
Lindsey quirks his eyebrows and goes "This is a new look for you."
Wes goes, "A lot of things have changed in the time you've been gone."
Lindsey goes, "You really think you could pull that trigger?"
Wes goes, "You'd be surprised at the people I'm happy to kill with this gun."
Lindsey goes, "This doesn't end anything between us."
Wes goes, "There is no 'us', Mr. McDonald."
Lindsey smirks, and recognizes the stalemate, and steps off to go back to his car and says, "Until next time."
Wes fires off a shot, nice as you please, right through the palm of Lindsey's evil hand.
Lindsey cries out in pain and goes "God damn it!"
Wes calmly holsters his gun again and goes, "Never come near my lover again. Good night, Mr. McDonald." and he walks back into the darkness to return to Angel's side.
Somehow after that Spike and Lindsey end up having sex. And Angel and Wes continue their dark and passionate yet loving relationship. And Eve remains locked in an elevator.
The end.
