Still more from the RPG from Hell (tm)

[thebratqueen]

As a point of trivia, for a while the pet name for this was "Wesley's adventures in Porn World". This bit was written entirely by me.



***

[ring]

"Hello?"

"Aren't these cell phones great?"

"Yes. Hello, Angel. Where are you?"

"Hotel. You at the apartment?"

"Yes. I've - I've been taking care of a few things."

"Uh huh. So I hear."

"..."

"Look, Wes - it's ok."

"Angel -"

"Spike, sex - trust me, I've been there."

"The thing of it is.... What?"

"Well, you know, years ago. Pre-curse. No soul. Surprising the kind of
stuff that sounds like a good idea under those conditions."

"I - I'm sure. But -"

"'course, not exactly an excuse you can use, but like I said - been
there."

"Angel, truly, I -"

"Wes, breathe. I love you. Don't die on me now."

"I - I - I love you too. Truly."

"Good. Glad that's settled. So - he still any good?"

"[COUGH]"

"What'd I say about breathing?"


"Sorry, sorry..."

"Get yourself a glass of water. And sit down. Are you sitting? I really
think you should be sitting."

"I really think I should be drunk, but thank you."

"Don't mention it. And I'm guessing you did pretty well since Spike's
sitting here telling me he's sending me a card and a bottle of Scotch."

"Spike's where?"

"What? Oh - no. E-mail, Wes, e-mail. He's not in Los Angeles."

"Oh. All - all right then."

"Is it?"

"What?"

"All right."

"I don't understand."

"[pause] Do you want me to come over?"

"Angel, I'm desperately wondering why you're not here now."

"Got it. Hang on. Lemme grab my coat. We can keep talking while I
drive."

"You know that's really not safe."

"Geez, Wes..."

"It isn't!"

"You know you and the traffic violations. I'm never going to get that.
First the helmet, now this. They make you stay behind in driver's ed or
something?"

"Look, if you'd like to be pulled over by the police whilst we're having
this conversation then by all means..."

"I'll chance it. Ok. In the car. Now talk to me. Spike's saying he
wants to come over. See you again. Like to be sure I'm not gonna rip his
head off for suggesting it. What I wanna know is if you're up for the
idea."

"I... That - that is to say..."

"Wes, I still love you."

"Thank God for it."

"That's not gonna change, Wes. Hell, you could break up with me
and it still wouldn't change. Tell me you're fucking in love with
Spike, and it wouldn't change. I'd think you'd lost your fucking mind,
but I'd still love you."

"[pause] Thank you."

"Yeah, well, whatever. Point is - point is, this is not the point. Ok?
Are we clear on that so far? I know you saw him, I know you and he had a
little bit more than conversation. I dunno why you went to see him in
the first place -"

"I wanted to talk about you."

"[pause] Huh. Hoo-kay."

"Get advice about dealing with - with your vampire nature."

"What about it?"

"It's - it's not important right now. Mostly about the nature of that
chip, and how it had affected his survival."

"Anything useful?"

"He suggested some areas of research. I plan to follow up on it."

"Ok. Lemme know. Anyway, what I'm saying is that..."

"What?"

"I'm not jealous. You wanna do this with him - it's ok. It's - it's
actually not the first time."

"No, really, it was!"

"Heh. Wes - I know that. I meant Spike and me. We've - we've done this
before."

"I really do need to sit down."

"How long ago did I tell you that? Huh?"

"All right. Tell me again?"

"Years ago. You know - back in the day. Spike... well, Hell, Wes, he was
kinda like you. Well, you know, not like you. Not - not similar I
mean. Personality-wise. But starting out. Not sure of himself. Kinda
dorky, really."

"Is that the part which is like me?"

"What? Dorky? Nah. You're too cute. And sexy. Have I mentioned
sexy lately?"

"Not yet in this conversation."

"You're really sexy, Wes."

"You know, I had never once in my life anticipated that becoming a
problem. Being found to be attractive."

"Yeah - that's what I'm saying. Like Spike. I mean sure - he had Dru, I
had Darla. But..."

"It's all right, Angel, you can tell me."

"Look, don't - don't freak or anything, ok?"

"We're speaking of when you were Angelus. I understand parts if not all of
this shall shock me."

"Ok. Well - not that bad. I mean it ended up with - with standard
feeding, you know? Taking a victim?"

"As vampires without souls are often wont to do, yes. I am aware of
that."

"Well Spike and I... Spike was kinda wet, when he started. You know,
behind the ears? And Dru could only teach him so much, being Dru, and
Darla really didn't give a shit - never did like him much anyway. Can't
say I blame her - he was really annoying back then. Still is. Anyway -
he needed somebody to show him the ropes. And - and this was the first
time we had another guy with us for a while."

"Penn didn't count?"

"I saw him a lot, but he never stayed. Not like Dru and Spike did. I - I
mean we created a lot of vampires, Wes. But not all of them were meant
to be keepers."

"All right. Go on."

"So, you know, Spike being a guy, Spike actually being open to seeing
other guys -"

"You slept with him."

"Well, yeah. But you already know that. What I'm saying is that we
also had other people. Guys I'd bring home. For - for stuff kinda like
this."

"I'm afraid you've lost me."

"I brought home guys for him to fuck while I watched."

"Ah."

"Figured that'd make it clear."

"Very, thank you."

"See where I'm getting here, though?"

"Not quite yet."

"Ok. Here's the thing. I taught Spike how to do this. And I gotta
admit I liked watching him do this. Pretty soon, it was a regular thing.
Find some cute guy, bring him home, use him as a training manual or just
enjoy the show. And when we were done - dinner."

"I see."

"I told you not to freak."

"I haven't. I'm not. Not about that, anyway. That you and Spike jointly
fed on humans is hardly news. I'm just trying to process that you and he
- he -"

"Jointly fucked?"

"Yes. Thank you."

"We've got to work on this swearing thing, Wes."

"Bugger off."

"Uh huh. So now do you see what I'm getting at? Why I'm not upset?"

"Because this is like what you used to do, only without the bloodshed."

"There ya go. Now - granted - Spike didn't have this chip in his head,
everybody in Sunnydale didn't trust him - we'd need to talk. Hell, I'd
need to stake him,then we'd need to talk. But since he's pretty much
useless in the danger area.... Raises some interesting possibilities,
Wes."

"Interesting. Yes."

"You liked it?"

"..."

"You can say yes."

"I - I ..."

"It's all right, Wes."

"I know. I know you're not jealous. I understand that now - even though
I'm still a bit flabbergasted -"

"Understandable."

"But to ask me this..."

"You did it. You didn't try to stake him. We're having this
conversation. I'm thinking it was fun."

"... perhaps."

"So should I tell him he's welcome to do it again? Long as he behaves
himself?"

"What... what do you want from this?"

"Me? You. I want you, Wes. And since we're talking sex I gotta tell you
I want you hot and bothered and doing whatever it takes to make you even
more hot and bothered for me."

"I... that is not a problem, Angel."

"Didn't think it might be."

"I want you. I desire you. Angel, you've no idea how much."

"You could always show me."

"Even... even if I continue with Spike?"

"Do it if you wanna, Wes. If you don't like it, why bother?"

"I -"

"But if you do like it, then yeah - you can show me. Come home to me
and show me all that pent-up frustration. Show me any new tricks you
might learn. Show me no matter how hard he fucks you, I'm still in the
back of your mind."

"Angel...."

"Right here, Wes."

"Angel, please."

"I'll be there in a minute. You - you wouldn't be getting hard for me,
now would you?"

"You even need to ask?"

"Keep it up. And I do mean that."

"Hurry."

"Tell Spike - next time you talk - that you'll do it again. With him.
With me. Got that?"

"At - at the same time?"

"Not necessarily. But I sure as fuck wouldn't mind watching."

"Angel -"

"Maybe even tell you what to do..."

"Angel -"

"I'm here, Wes. This time literally. Just parked the car. Be at your
door in a sec. Love you."

"Love you too."

[click]