But here's someone to hate more than Ann Coulter

If you've been following the news over here in the US lately then you know that we're in the path of a hurricane. You may also notice this tiny little news story called "Bush: No evidence Saddam was involved in 9/11 attacks".

( Allow me to quote the CNN article for you since they often take those down )

I want you to be aware of this because I want you to understand the full extent to which the man in office right now assumes that you, the American public, is RETARDED.

Now then, as I am on my way to work in what my computer's clock tells me is 3 minutes and counting, I do not have the time right now to search through every speech Dubya has ever made and prove or disprove if he ever made the direct accusation that, to quote our dear national security advisor, "Saddam Hussein had either direction or control of 9/11" so I'm willing to spot the president on this one. I'm willing to take on faith that he never said those words. You got it, Mr. Hail to the Chief. It's a gimme.

Allow me, though, to take what I am told is 0.23 seconds of my time to do a Google search on "President Bush" "9-11" and "Saddam".

The very first link that I get is to this article in the Christian Science Monitor which points out that by constantly mentioning 9-11 and Saddam in the same speeches as though they were related somehow that Dubya may have possibly given the impression that they were related somehow. Funny how that works.

This article is dated March 14, 2003 by the way, so it's not even a rebuttal to Bush's oh so generous clarification yesterday.

Then, for shits and giggles, I take another second out of my time to head on over to the White House's official website. The website is thoughtful enough to provide transcripts of what it calls Major Speeches. As this is the very thing we are attempting to clarify, I click on the link underneath it called "Iraqi Threat".

Read the speech that comes up, won't you? This speech, by the way, is dated October 7, 2002.

( Now let's talk about what he says )

In other words, I'm not saying that President Bush has sex with underage Rottweilers, I'm just saying that he loves dogs, he's bought lube on occasion and he's been known to speak of how the youth of America are our future. You make your own conclusions.

Gee, all that and it only took 3 minutes of my time. Why is this man still in office again?

Fun with Falsehoods!

You know I've decided that I'm wrong. I'm being far too judgemental about this whole "lies are still lies even by implication" thing. I mean consider - aren't we all grateful to President Clinton for allowing us to have oral sex with whomever we want with no fear that we're actually having sex or violating our marriage vows? Clearly we need to be grateful to Dubya, then, for ushering in a whole new era of truth telling.

So, in that vein, I'd like to honor the man himself with a few more things that aren't in any way shape or form wrong to say according to our dear president:

I'm not saying President Bush only manages to get an erection when someone reads aloud to him from various forms of children's literature. I'm just saying his wife's a librarian.

I'm not saying President Bush crossdresses, I'm just saying that there's a lot of women's clothing to be found in the White House.

I'm not saying President Bush cheated in order to get all his degrees. I'm just saying that more than one student at the schools he went to has been caught cheating.

I'm not saying President Bush molests farm animals, I'm just saying he knows a cow when he sees one and the Secret Service doesn't tell the news what he does 24 hours a day.

I'm not saying President Bush secretly fantasizes about what Bill Clinton is like in bed, I'm just saying I'm sure he's read Ken Starr's report from cover to cover.

I'm not saying President Bush doesn't actually have a penis, I'm just saying we've never seen any evidence to prove that he does.

There, see how much fun that was! Thanks Mr. Bush! 8)

Now you try!