Here ya go!

[thebratqueen]

Busy, busy night for me so I'll get right to it:



Present, Imperfect
By The Brat Queen

Disclaimer: Not mine. All Joss Whedon's, Mutant Enemy's, 20th Century Fox's and all that sort of thing. 'tis but a non-profit, amateur effort, and y'all would need to get in line to sue me anyway.

Spoilers: Up to Epiphany, after which Joss and I go separate ways.

Rated: PG

Summary: Wesley decides that things can't stay as they are. (Part of the Epiphany series, takes place immediately after "Unknown")

Author Note: Gotta send love to Olwen for beta-reading and staying on the phone with me for hours as I whined "But it doesn't *work*!" and "Why is my cat trying to drive me insane??" She puts up with so much.

***

Angel left soon after. The tension and silence had been unbearable. Wesley let him go and slept his drunken state off on the couch.

When he woke the next morning he put the alcohol away. It didn't numb enough, and the pain was the only connection he had left. He clung to it as though it were a rope that could tug him home. He poured himself into his research, letting that eat away at the energy created by his anger and frustration.

Interdimensional travel, his books told him, was a tricky thing. Finding yourself in a new dimension was practically as easy as falling off of a bike. Getting *back*, on the other hand, was not. With all of the dimensions there were trying to locate your own could be as impossible as trying to shoot a bee in flight.

However Wesley considered himself a damned good shot.

***

"Think this is going to work?"

Wesley shrugged, kneeling down in front of the tablets. "It should."

Gunn studied the situation critically. "I mean once you try it's not like we can do this over."

"I know," Wesley said. He brushed dust out of the runes with his fingertips. "I don't care."

Gunn nodded. Wesley was glad that in all universes Gunn seemed to understand what he was feeling. "Cordy wanted to help."

"She told me," Wesley said. He'd thanked her, but said he felt it would be safer without as many people there. Less chance of someone besides himself switching dimensions. She'd wished him luck and hugged him goodbye.

"So how's this work?" Gunn asked.

"I'm going to try to recreate the circumstances as best as possible," Wesley said. "Based upon my translations I *believe* the portal between the worlds is restricted to a certain area. If I cross that area while holding the tablet it should open the gate again and return me to where I was."

"Or drop you off in the middle of a volcano," Gunn said.

"It's a distinct possibility," Wesley agreed.

"Sounds stupid, if you ask me."

Wesley's shoulders slumped at the sound of a new voice. "I didn't."

Angel appeared out of the shadows. He glanced at Gunn, then Wesley again. "How are you gonna recreate this if you can't even remember it?"

"I'll do my best," Wesley said.

"Gunn, get out of here," Angel said, casually. "I was with Wes. Let's do this right."

Gunn raised an eyebrow in Wesley's direction.

"Go on," Wesley sighed, resting his hands on his knees. "For all we know it requires the presence of a vampire."

"Okay," Gunn said, clapping him on the shoulder, "but if this blows up in your face don't say I didn't tell you so."

Wesley smiled up at him in farewell. "I won't."

Gunn gave him a significant look before leaving. "Good luck, English."

"So how did you find me?" Wesley asked, turning his attention back to Angel.

"Cordy told me," Angel said. He shook his head when he saw what Wesley was doing. "That's the wrong one. You were holding the other one."

Wesley let go of the first tablet and shifted his attention to the second. He traced the runes, feeling his hand tingle. Oddly, he was beyond being terrified. "Why did you come?"

"I wanted to help," Angel said. "It's what I do."

"Of course."

"And you're my best friend."

Wesley paused, thinking about that.

Angel stepped forward, meeting his eyes in the dim light. "I don't know what's up in your world - well, I can guess - but… here you're my friend. You're pretty much my *only* friend, Wesley." Angel smirked. "Not like that's much of a compliment."

"No," Wesley said, "it is."

Angel sat down on top of one of the many nearby crates. "Cordy'n me - we're not friends. She told me herself."

"Time," Wesley automatically parroted the advice he'd given Angel nearly a year ago. "Time and space."

"Yeah," Angel nodded. "That's what you told me. But - it's not the same. Probably never gonna be."

"I'm sorry," Wesley said, and genuinely meant it.

"Atonement's a bitch," Angel shrugged philosophically.

Wesley stood up. He touched a hand to Angel's cheek. Angel looked up at him. "I know it hurts."

"Yeah," Angel said, his voice rough. "You - you always did."

Had he been on his own world, Wesley would have kissed him. Perhaps sensing that, Angel turned his face to the side. Wesley took his hand back, stepping away.

"So your guy," Angel said, "it's… love?"

"On my part, yes," Wesley confirmed.

Angel shook his head. "Meant on his."

"Oh," Wesley said. "I - he says it is."

"Buffy knows?"

Wesley smiled ironically. "It was the longest conversation of our lives."

Angel laughed. "Yeah. Guess it would be. Fuck - glad *I* didn't have to have it."

"Thus proving this dimension at least has some advantages," Wesley pointed out.

"Tell me about it," Angel said. He seemed lost in thought, as though contemplating the idea. "Nope. Hell'd be easier."

"You mentioned that on the plane flight back."

Angel looked at him quizzically.

"We were in England," Wesley explained.

Angel pondered that, then shook his head. "I don't wanna know. So does he - you know - treat you right?"

Wesley blinked. "Pardon?"

"Does he treat you right?" Angel repeated. "Doesn't - you know - leave you alone? Get all broody?"

"Angel, it's *you*, of *course* he gets all broody. I've simply made it my goal in life to teach him to have his breakdowns on the furniture."

Angel actually chuckled. "Good luck."

"I don't suppose *you'd* care to tell me why all catastrophes must involve falling to the floor?" Wesley asked, only half-seriously. "As it is I consider it a red-letter day if he does it on the carpeting."

"It's… a thing," Angel said. "I can't explain it."

Wesley smiled at him. "A man of few words in every dimension."

"Probably why I keep meeting this guy of many languages," Angel said.

They locked eyes for a moment.

Wesley turned away. "I should - "

"There's a difference."

Wesley looked back. "Pardon?"

"Between here and there," Angel said. "Me and your guy."

Wesley busied himself with the tablet. "I appreciate the effort, but it's not necessary for you to make up stories."

"What's to make up?" Angel asked. "You're with him. That's - that's a big difference."

Wesley gave a small snort of laughter. "Please."

"Look - I dunno the whole deal," Angel said, "but I know you're living with him."

"Yes, Angel," Wesley said patiently, "it's a change of *address*. What a brave new world."

"It's a change of *everything*," Angel told him.

"Like *what*?"

"Like he's not alone."

"I - oh," Wesley swallowed, taking that in.

Angel kept looking at him, his gaze unwavering. "I thought about what you said the other night. About you and him, and me and Cordy. And all I could think was - your guy's gotta be the stupidest or bravest fuck I've ever known. Reaching for something he wants like that? Chancing the curse?"

"I don't seem capable of breaking it," Wesley said quietly.

"Doesn't matter," Angel said. He paused, then explained. "You *could*. Anything could. And he's still with you? He asked you to move *in*? Jesus. I'm still trying to handle having the *office* in the hotel."

Wesley shrugged. "It was a safety precaution. So I could de-invite him from the building if he turned evil again."

"68 rooms in the Hyperion," Angel said. "You were looking for your stuff in *my* closet."

"I sleep there often," Wesley mumbled, feeling himself gripped by homesickness.

"Exactly," Angel replied. "Wes - I don't sleep with anybody. I wake up and drink my blood cold and my coffee black and try not to do anything to fuck things up more than I've already done in the past. I don't have a lover. I barely have any friends. I'm pretty sure I probably shouldn't. But if your guy has you - has somebody he can count on like that? That's not nothing, Wes. That's - fuck, that's everything."

"He's everything to me," Wesley admitted.

"Yeah," Angel said kindly. "I'm getting that."

Wesley felt foolish, and very, very tired.

"Come on," Angel stood up and guided him towards the symbols on the floor. "Time you went home."

Wesley allowed himself a moment to lean into the touch. Angel didn't pull away. "Thank you."

Angel smiled at him. "Anytime."

***

"Wes? Wes? Come *on*, Wes."

"Angel, he's not going to wake up with you hovering over him. We've got to take him to the hospital."

"I know. I just - come *on*, Wes."

Wesley opened his eyes. He was on the ground, outside of the warehouse. His head throbbed. Angel, Cordy and Gunn were all sitting beside him.

And Angel was looking at *him*.

***

The ride to the hospital was as quick as Angel could manage it. Wesley found himself smiling at the déjà vu of the whole scenario - both from what he had just experienced, and from nearly a year ago when he'd been shot and forced to sit painfully in Angel's car as Angel babbled at him.

This time Angel drove with almost exaggerated care, tensing whenever a light stayed red longer than Angel felt was truly necessary.

"It's all right," Wesley told him, sliding a hand across the front seat to caress his leg. Angel looked at him dubiously, but Wesley smiled in return. "I'll be all right. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

Then, while waiting for pedestrians to cross, Wesley asked, "Angel - do you love me?"

"What?" Angel looked startled, taking his eyes off of the road long enough to frown at him. "Jesus, Wes - of *course* I love you. It was just a fucking fight. We'll deal with it."

Wesley slipped over to Angel's side of the car and held him as best he could for the duration of the trip.

Check-in was chaotic, but one of the many advantages of a vampire lover was that when he drew himself up to his full height and quietly said that Mr. Wyndam-Pryce would care to be seen *now*, the staff agreed to it. Wesley felt a twinge of guilt at possibly jumping ahead of the line, but he didn't care. He wanted to go *home*.

"Fucking *hate* these places," Angel muttered as he paced around the small examination room they'd put him in.

Wesley smiled at the near-repeat of Angel's rant. "It's a Sunday night in Los Angeles. There's bound to be delays."

"I don't fucking care," Angel said. He stood in front of Wesley, his brown eyes flashing. "You were *seriously* hurt, Wes. If they don't get somebody in here soon I'm gonna - "

Wesley kissed him.

Angel froze, then responded, then with reluctance pulled back. "Wes - wait. It's a public place."

"I don't care."

"Okay," Angel said, his voice tinged with worry, "I know you got a real nasty bump there, Wes, but - "

Wesley kissed him again. When Angel tried to pull back he grabbed hold of Angel's shirt and refused to let go. Angel still tried to protest, but finally relaxed and responded, kissing Wesley with a deep and possessive hunger.

"I love you," Wesley said, cupping Angel's face in his hands. "I love you so much. I don't care who knows."

"Not that I'm complaining," Angel said, "but huh?"

"It's a long story," Wesley replied. He let his hand trail down Angel's neck and torso. "I promise I'll tell you everything. But I - Angel do you believe me? Please say you believe me."

"I believe you, Wes, sure," Angel said. The lines of worry didn't leave his face for a moment. "Um - what exactly am I believing?"

Wesley chuckled, leaning forward and brushing his lips over Angel's again. He thrilled to feel Angel responding to him as he always did. "That I'm sorry."

"Oh for - " Angel moved back enough to look at him. "Wes - for fuck's sake I don't care. Not *now*. You got hurt. I've got bigger priorities. You don't have to - I dunno - make some *gesture* here. We both said some stuff, okay? It happens."

"I hurt you," Wesley replied. "That shouldn't just 'happen'."

Angel shrugged. "Well it does. Probably will again."

"Which isn't a 'no'," Wesley pointed out. "Which means I hurt you. I'm sorry. I - I didn't even know I could."

Surprise flickered over Angel's face. He moved closer again, resting his hands on Wesley's arms. "Well you can, Wes. I *love* you. Kinda means I got my heart on the line here. And it's not like I've had a lot of practice with that."

Wesley reached up, resting his hand against Angel's chest where a heartbeat would be. "Your heart should be taken better care of."

"I *want* - " Angel looked as though he might stop himself from speaking, but then continued in spite of it. "I want it to be you. It's yours, Wes. You want it, it's yours. In - you know - whatever way you want. Whatever - whatever you feel comfortable with."

"I never told you that, did I?" Wesley asked.

Angel blinked at what seemed like a change in topic. "What?"

"What I wanted."

"Thought you did," Angel said.

Wesley shook his head. "Not really. I asked you what you wanted. I told you I wanted that answer. But I never told you what I felt. What I hoped our future would be."

Angel stilled. "Okay."

Wesley screwed up his courage. He forced himself to meet Angel's eyes, and to keep his own eyes open and clear. "You. Not just in sex, or in partnership, but in everything. I want to fight in your battles right by your side. And - and I want you to be with me when I fight in mine."

A faint smile touched Angel's face. Wesley continued. "I know I'm not Buffy. I know I never shall be. I can't replace her, or offer you all that she could. But you have me, for whatever *you* want. For whatever *you're* comfortable with. And I daresay if you ever tried it again you'd find it bloody hard to get rid of me."

Angel moved closer, sliding his arms around Wesley's back. "Wouldn't want to."

"You don't get a choice," Wesley replied. He paused, knowing he could stop there, but feeling as though he shouldn't. "Angel… the curse - "

"Don't," Angel's voice held a warning tone.

Wesley held up his free hand to forestall the complaint. "We don't know. We may never know. What we *do* know is I haven't broken it yet. Which can mean a lot of things. However there's one thing in all this that I am certain of." He met those brown eyes again and plunged forward. "I may not be your perfect happiness, Angel, but… you're mine."

Angel froze, then pulled away. Wesley sat there, accepting it, knowing that it wasn't his place to demand anymore than he had already.

Then Angel turned back to him. "I *love* you," he said, his voice softer than Wesley had ever heard it. "I wish - " he smiled, ruefully "- sometimes I wish you *did* break the curse. Just so you'd know."

Wesley blinked, knowing that Angel had reduced him to tears not for the first time nor certainly the last. "I'd rather have you."

Angel sat down beside him, drawing him into his arms. "You sure?"

Wesley lay his head against Angel's chest, closing his eyes in contentment, knowing that he could stay there for the rest of his life. "Unquestionably."

Fin.