On the subject of me
Dec. 18th, 2002 01:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebratqueenI wasn't planning on doing this but ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
slinkymalinki asked me to as a Xmas gift and, hey, this is free.
1. I have blond hair and blue eyes.
2. I was once cyber-stalked. This makes me very reluctant to share any personal information over the net until I know someone very, very well. Anyone who so much as uses the initials of my real name gets smacked down hard.
3. Most people know that I won a Salon.com contest to write Cinderella in the style of Anne Rice. What many do not know is that I deliberately wrote the piece to be a parody of Anne's writing, not an homage.
4. I was one of the few people who actually got a C&D letter from Anne Rice's lawyer. I told the lawyer to bite me in very small words and moved my website. The first half of that may or may not have been an influence on why I was susequently stalked by one of Anne's minions (see #2).
5. Having been one of the few people behind the scenes when Anne went psycho-bitch, it amuses me to no end now to see the game of telephone that has affected reports of what happened that year, particularly those people who act as though they have the inside scoop who weren't even in the fandom at that time.
6. I'm a New Yorker. No matter where I live, this is what I tell people. Part of the reason is that I haven't lived anywhere else for long enough to be "from" there, and therefore this isn't going to provide me with a good way of making small talk with the person who asked ("Oh, you're from Denver? Do you know the XYZ area?" "Uh... no."). Another part of this is that I'm New Yorker in attitude, personality and general demeanor and frankly me telling you that right off the bat will save us both a lot of time as far as you getting to know me.
7. Go Knicks! Go Liberty! Go Rangers! Go Mets! Go Yankees! In pretty much that order of importance!
8. I'm the youngest kid in my family. Older Brother is about 7 years older than I am, Elder Brother is 9.
9. The age difference, and my family's Roman Catholicism, made me ask my mom if I was an accident. She said no. The age difference was due to Older Brother being a difficult birth.
10. Not long after having me, my mother had a nervous breakdown. I was too little to remember it. I never felt responsible for it, but have accepted that it's a real chance that when I hit my early 30s I will also have one, esp since my maternal grandmother had one at about that age as well. My mother has tried to point out to me that Grandma had hers because one of her kids died but this doesn't make me feel obtimistic about my chances. The thought that I might have a breakdown doesn't make me scared. I'm just resigned to the possibility in the same way that I am to the fact that my hair will one day go grey and I just don't know when.
10a. I feel a need to point out I don't care overmuch about my hair going grey.
11. Mom's side of the family (Irish Catholics) is HUGE. I was born near the tail end of the cousin bell curve, with only 3 cousins being younger than me when I was growing up (4 now). Because of this, and the fact that Mom couldn't go to many family events after she got ill, I was often forgotten about in family correspondances. I therefore took it for granted that I was more or less invisible (metaphorically, not literally). I didn't take this personally, it just was. To this day I don't have hurt feelings when people stop talking to me. I'm used to being forgotten about (even though now I'm included in things and have been for decades).
12. On a related note, I have no idea what people think of me. I assume that unless they're talking to me, they don't. The idea that people would think about me when I'm not around is so inconceivable that I have absolutely no ability to guess what they would say, either good or bad. This isn't a self-esteem thing. I don't think I'm horrible or stupid or boring or anything like that. Quite the opposite. I just don't assume that people talk about me when I'm not around.
13. My maternal grandmother immigrated from Scotland. I'm told she had a very strong brogue. I never heard it because I was used to how she talked. to this day Scotch and Irish brogues have to be very thick for me to hear them.
14. I don't tend to talk about my personal life much. This either leads people to assume I don't have one, or it drives them (coughlucifrixcough) nuts trying to figure out what sexuality I am.
15. I'm bisexual.
16. I have very poor dykedar. Unless a woman is seriously butch I have no way of telling if she's gay or not. My gaydar is much better, for all the good that does me.
17. I never know when someone is flirting with/attracted to me. If you want me to know, tell me flat-out. Otherwise I'm going to assume no, even if, as more than one person has done, you're asking me what my favorite positions in bed are. Trust me, that's not blatent enough.
18. I've almost always been as outspoken as I am now. Even as a kid I never saw a reason why I couldn't or shouldn't let my voice be heard.
19. I suspect that growing up with two significantly older brothers was a factor in why I tended to be tougher than other kids my age. I also think this might be why I don't have a lot of stereotypical "girly" traits like math fear.
20. I leap to the defense of my friends and underdogs. Even as a kid I would get between bullies and the kids they were picking on. I never got into physical fights though. I'm sure you're surprised to find out that I was able to get people to back off just by yelling at them.
21. I don't leap to the defense of my friends if they're being jackasses.
22. I never got into the usual school dynamics. For example, in the 7th or 8th grade one girl got mad at me and said she was going to meet me after school for a fight (this was when I went to Catholic school so stop for a moment to ponder the humor of this girl waiting for me in the alley between our school and the church). I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard and walked right past her when school let out. She got angry and demanded that I stop and I pointed out that really, no, I didn't have to. I went home and there was no fight.
23. I didn't get along with most of my classmates in 7th and 8th grade. This was due in large part to me coming from public school and me being smarter than they were. I don't say that out of arrogance. One girl made repeated complaints to the teachers that she couldn't understand what I was saying because my vocabulary was better than hers. I didn't think much of that school.
24. Actually, I hate school. Always did. I don't know what turned me off to it back in elementary school, which is as far back as I can remember hating it. I was an excellent student and good grades came easily to me. If I had to guess I'd say it was because the teachers didn't respect my outspoken nature. Also I might have been bored a lot. No matter what it was, though, to this day I wouldn't go back to school no matter what I'd get in exchange for it.
25. I faked being sick a lot to get out of school. I found out later that this drove my mother bugnuts.
26. I was, however, actually sick a fair amount of the time as well. I had a sensitive stomach and once had to go on a diet of nothing but liquids for days. I hated it.
27. When I became chronically ill in college part of me couldn't help but feel that it was a karmic payback for all the times I faked being sick.
28. My illness in college was the one time I became something other than my outspoken self. I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis which hit me second semester freshman year and didn't get diagnosed for about two years. During that time I was constantly exhausted and had doctor after doctor telling me that I was making it up. This completely destroyed my personality. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I was applying to be an RA and wrote down "Quiet and introverted" as my personality traits on the form as though that were normal for me. Once I had the epiphany of how bad I'd gotten I worked very hard to more or less rebuild myself from scratch.
29. As bad as all that was, I'm glad it happened. I came out of it stronger and, IMO, more self-assured than many other people my age.
30. I have a tattoo. It's of a panther and an orchid. I got it in response to a slew of bad things which happened during my college years (which included the illness). I figured if there were so many things bad that had happened and were going to last forever, I wanted to make something good that would last forever.
31. I also have an outer labia piercing which doesn't have nearly as much symbolic meaning. "Neat" was pretty much the motivation there. Also "why not?"
32. I consider myself a fairly good bullshit artist. Not great, just good. I do not BS for personal gain. Usually just to move a conversation (typically small talk) along.
33. It is therefore perhaps ironic (I can't decide) that I hate bullshit in other people most especially if it's done badly. I don't mind a little BS but if I can see your smoke and mirrors? Stop it. Right now. You're making the rest of us look bad.
34. I loathe the belief that ignorance is not only a point of view, it's something to be proud of. I don't just mean big ignorance like racism, but little things like people who look contemptously at others, tsk, and say something like "I don't watch Sci Fi/sports/the news/whatever" in a way that lets you know that they never even tried, can't be bothered, and not-so-subtly look down on you for not doing the same.
35. I hate phonies. I don't mind not giving a contrary opinion if you're trying to be polite (eg "I love Lord of the Rings" "What? Are you on CRACK? That movie SUCKED and I think anyone who liked it is a JERK!" being an example of such kind of contrary opinions. IMO it's fine to be polite and say "Yeah it was a nice film" and then move the conversation along.) but people who seem to have no opinion of their own save whatever the current public opinion is drive me nuts.
36. I likewise hate people who try to cling on and claim to be part of a group when they're only doing so to be fashionable. Especially if they've never done anything to actually earn the right to the claim.
37. I believe people should know what they're talking about. You don't have to have a doctorate in the subject or anything, but try to at least get the basic facts straight before spouting off.
38. Every so often I make a point of reading up on things I disagree with just to see the other point of view.
39. I've several friends who have very different viewpoints than mine. This doesn't interfere with the friendship.
40. I don't think any of my friends top the "different viewpoint" more thanlucifrix, who not only has different political and religious views than mine but also drinks Pepsi while I prefer Coke. Although I think we differed more when we met up in college than we do now
41. I was a Republican for a while. Then I switched to Libertarian just to add numbers to a third party. I switched over to Democrat in order to vote for Bill Bradley in the 2000 presidental primaries.
42. I vote
43. I've never served jury duty (yet). I was called once, checked the thing that said "call me again in ____ months" and then moved to New Orleans. Then I never stayed in one place long enough. I assume I'll get called at some point in the near future now that I've settled down.
44. I'm pro-life. I don't look down on people for being pro-choice, I would never turn my back on anyone who had an abortion, I agree that the Georgia "execution" thing is disgusting, but if I ran the world abortions would never happen. I believe it's murder and I cannot understand the "it's just cells" point of view.
45. No, I don't want to argue about it. You have your opinion, I have mine. Yes, I have educated myself about the pro-choice opinion. I still disagree with it, thanks for asking.
46. I'm anti-death penalty.
47. I believe in God.
48. I grew up Roman Catholic.
49. I think Catholicism at heart is a good religion that people fucked up royally.
50. I don't go to Church, though, because I disagree with what people have done to Catholicism and because Masses don't speak to me
51. I practise a form of Catholic Paganism. No, I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. My morality is Catholic, my way of worshipping is Pagan.
52. I also belong to the Unitarian Universalist Church. I love my local UU but I can't get to it nearly as often as I'd like. This is mostly due to them having only one service a week at 10 am on a Sunday.
53. I think all forms of religion are valid. You can't get two people to agree on pizza toppings, I don't see why God would expect six billion to agree or even be able to find use in a single way to worship/deal with Him.
54. I have atheist friends and that's fine too. Whatever works for you is what works for you. Yours was the only vote that mattered.
55. I find it interesting, though, to talk to atheists who say "I look at the world and the universe as it is and think to myself 'obviously there is no God'" because honestly I, personally, look at the world and the universe as it is and draw the exact opposite conclusion. I don't say I'm right and they're wrong, just that I think it's interesting to see how two people can look at the same evidence and draw such wildly different views.
56. When bad things happen I assume it will all work out in the end. If nothing else I believe it's our jobs to make good out of bad because then otherwise we've got nobody but ourselves to blame when bad things have no meaning or goodness out of them.
57. Contrary to the net name, I'm a sweetie at heart. I believe people are inherently good. Doesn't mean there aren't assholes, just that my default belief for all people is that they're good.
58. I believe in putting good out into the world. I'm a very friendly person in my day to day interactions.
59. I believe in manners. I was floored when I went to college and saw classmates who thought it was acceptable to, as for example, go up to the cafeteria workers and say "gimme". Please and thank you. Not that hard.
60. I know table manners but I'm not always good about practicing them to a T. My worst is elbows on the table. OTOH I don't eat with my fingers unless it's finger food and I don't lick my fingers unless I'm relaxing with friends and a bag of Doritos that's all my own - or I'm trying to seduce someone ;)
61. Occasionally I am stunned when I see other people who think it's okay to lick your fingers when you're in a nice restaurant. I don't shun them or anything but I get amazed that something so basic wasn't taught to someone.
62. I believe waitressing is a difficult job that I would never be able to do. I tip accordingly.
63. I do look down on people who think that there's no reason to tip in an American restaurant, or to tip extra for good service.
64. I think how someone treats someone serving them - be it a waiter or the salesclerk at your local Blockbuster - is a good indication of how they are as a person in much the same way that torturing animals is a good indication that someone's going to become a mass murderer. If you can't treat servers with respect and courtesy you are an asshole who will never be worth knowing as a close friend.
65. I'm fairly good with math. I can calcuate a tip easily and do quick guesstimates of other problems in my head. I just couldn't make exact change in my head quickly enough to do it at a register if the computer wasn't doing it for me.
66. I'm a bit of a gossip, but OTOH I don't stab people in the back. If I'm bitching to you about someone I've either already bitched to that person or I'm getting ready to bitch to that person and I just need to get my thoughts in order first.
67. I don't know what to do when I've tried approaching a friend I'm having problems with (general friend, not "a friend" meaning "I won't mention names to protect the inncent") and they don't hear me.
68. My mom is schitzo-affective. This means she's both schitzophrenic and suffers from depression.
69. Because I grew up with someone who was mentally ill, I think I'm more aware and tolerant of it than the average bear.
70. I also majored in psychology in college and read up on psych for fun, which also helps.
71. I've got a fairly good ability to deal with the various forms of mental illness I come across except for bipolar. I'm tapped out on bipolar people. (With the exception of my current friends. What I mean is that I just don't have it in me to take on new friends who are bipolar - or at least to be their support system).
72. A quick way to drive me bugnuts is to put me in front of a manic person who's tra la laing about how they're not ill, they're special. It would proabably be a good idea to chain me up before doing this because I will pimp slap that person into the middle of next week.
73. Ditto for putting me in front of a manic person who refuses to take their meds.
74. Because I'm not unaware of ironic karma, I do occasionally wonder that when/if I have my breakdown if I will turn out to be bipolar.
75. OTOH I did suffer from depression in the past so who knows?
76. My depression was during my illness in college and was an offshoot of said illness. Because my major symptom was being tired I spent almost all of my time beating myself up for not trying hard enough.
77. To this day I still get into that mental diatribe everytime I call in sick to work. Even if I'm vomiting up my lungs I still think I could have avoided the whole thing if I'd slept more or taken better care of myself and I'm a failure and blah bing blah. It's not so much that I believe it as it's a learned behavior I haven't kicked yet.
78. Because of my illness, I didn't graduate college with everyone else. I failed one of the classes I had to take for my major. I found out at the last minute and was a wreck. I almost didn't go to the ceremony but my dad and brother convinced me to do it anyway. I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad I saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham - ie this way I can say I did it - but I can't say it was big fun either.
79. I am a college graduate though. I took a summer course that started a few days after I went home and passed it with flying colors. That was all that was needed.
80. Failing the class was mostly my fault in that by that time I'd had enough teachers dick me over when I told them I had a disability that kept me from going to class (helped in part by the head of Disability services turning into a bitch who, amongst other things, tried to get me fired from my job) that by senior year I gave up on telling them. They always assumed I was a slacker anyway so I didn't see the point. So when the end of the year rolled around and all this prof knew was that I didn't score high enough on the tests and I failed the big paper and hardly ever showed up to class - I can't say I totally blame him for thinking I didn't give a rat's ass.
81. OTOH - I did badly on the tests not because I didn't understand or study, but because my illness made it very hard for me to concentrate. I could do essay questions but couldn't concentrate long enough to do multiple choice or - even worse - matching. I literally lived the college nightmare for three years (the one where you show up for a test that you studied for but you try to read the questions and they make no sense). It was bad enough that in a multiple choice by the time I got down to D I would completely forget what the question was.
82. I've also always suspected - not in a "I didn't deserve to be failed!" way, just in a "Things that make you go hmmm" way - that another reason why the prof gave me low grades was because I delberately chose a paper topic to piss him off. He started the class that semester with a completely non-sequitor diatribe about child abuse and kids making it up and blah bling blah to the point that I and a few friends were fairly certain he was accused himself. The class was on human memory so I on purpose picked the topic of repressed childhood memories. I made a point of writing it to be technically flawless but he still not only gave it a bad grade (I think it got a D) but used it as an example to the rest of the class of what shouldn't be done.
83. I don't smoke. My mom smoked while I was in the womb and I like to say that that was more than enough for me. (She also smoked for most of my life but quit a few years ago.)
84. I don't do drugs. The thought of being stoned gives me the wig. I won't even take cold medicine that makes you sleepy.
85. My mom's side of the family is made up of alcoholics. Apparently my maternal grandfather was such a drunk that my mom often stepped over him when he'd passed out in a local park. He did sober up later in life though, as have at least some of my aunts and uncles.
86. My mom, thankfully, is not an alcoholic. But the prevalance of alcoholism in my cousins is enough to make me back off drinking. I drink very rarely. Like Haley's comet rarely.
87. I think champagne is a cruel joke. It tastes nothing like what it looks like.
88. I feel the same way about all forms of berries.
89. A couple of years ago I made the decision that there was no reason not to try things I've never done before. As a result of this I taught myself crosstitch, crochet, decorative painting, cooking and tried my hand at sketching and learning German. Of these, I actually successfully learned crossstich, can do simple crochet and decorative painting and am apparently not a half-bad cook. Sketching I never quite got down although I'd still like to learn and I keep forgetting to set aside time for German. I did learn enough German to muddle through when I was in Hamburg though. I also keep my eye out for new things to learn.
90. For a little while I felt guilty about not finishing some of my crosstitch, crochet and painting projects but then stupidly realized that while I can do these things it doesn't mean I'm passionate about them. Now I play with them from time to time whenever I feel like it and don't feel bad if I don't touch them.
91. I looooooove cooking. I've found that I'm of the Jamie Oliver (Naked Chef) school - I'm for any recipe that understands you can have fun with this and not be obsessive compulsive about having exactly this or that. I make it a point now to try - hum - I guess it averages out to four new recipes a month. (Bear in mind I live alone so one meal lasts me a week).
92. I enjoy being domestic. Cooking and crafty things make me happy. I'm horrible with cleaning though. I hate to dust and I only do a full-on housecleaning about once a month. But OTOH I tend to tidy up after myself so it's not that I live in a pigsty, it's just that the carpet doesn't get vaccumed that often.
93. I'm a bit of a procrastinator. If I don't do something right away it might get put into a near permanent "on hold" status. Thank goodness for online bill paying, which has saved me from late fees on many a time.
94. I've several ideas for books in my head. I honestly don't know which one will get published first.
95. I don't talk about things sometimes because I need to keep some plans to myself or I'll never get them done. For example, I didn't tell anyone about my tattoo until after I got it. Likewise I won't talk much about the projects I'm working on.
96. Years of watching things like Hometime have made me fairly handy. I couldn't rewire a house but I can at least understand simple household tasks. I also have a kick-ass tool set that was a Christmas gift from a few years back. It's so impressive that even contractors drool over it. Now all I need is a drill.
97. I'm not much of a girly girl. I go through phases of wearing makeup and jewelry, then I go back to my usual earrings and no makeup. I tend to avoid makeup, too, because when I wore it a lot I once found myself looking at my no-makeup reflection in the mirror and going "Ugh!" I then decided I wasn't going to deliberately do something to myself which made me hate the real me.
98. I've never been able to understand girls who can't leave the house without makeup on. I tend to have a Chris Rock reaction to this: "They still make you?"
99. While I consider myself a good public speaker, I also point to the fact that I've had years of practise. I'm not what you'd call shy ;) However, it always surprises me when I speak off the cuff and then later people come to me and say how well-spoken I was, particularly in terms of my word choice. I mean I'm glad they like it but I was just talking. Doesn't everyone?
100. For all its various quirks, I am constantly grateful to have been born into the family I have. My parents are amazing folks who truly understand the concept of unconditional support and love, and for all that my brothers are occasionally Devons I know we'll always have each other's backs. I know that if I'm a nifty person to be around, it's thanks to the way I was raised.
And for those that asked while I was working on this - I found I didn't have to cheat. In fact there were a few other things I might have mentioned but it's way past my bed-time at the moment so... no. ;)
slinkymalinki asked me to as a Xmas gift and, hey, this is free. 1. I have blond hair and blue eyes.
2. I was once cyber-stalked. This makes me very reluctant to share any personal information over the net until I know someone very, very well. Anyone who so much as uses the initials of my real name gets smacked down hard.
3. Most people know that I won a Salon.com contest to write Cinderella in the style of Anne Rice. What many do not know is that I deliberately wrote the piece to be a parody of Anne's writing, not an homage.
4. I was one of the few people who actually got a C&D letter from Anne Rice's lawyer. I told the lawyer to bite me in very small words and moved my website. The first half of that may or may not have been an influence on why I was susequently stalked by one of Anne's minions (see #2).
5. Having been one of the few people behind the scenes when Anne went psycho-bitch, it amuses me to no end now to see the game of telephone that has affected reports of what happened that year, particularly those people who act as though they have the inside scoop who weren't even in the fandom at that time.
6. I'm a New Yorker. No matter where I live, this is what I tell people. Part of the reason is that I haven't lived anywhere else for long enough to be "from" there, and therefore this isn't going to provide me with a good way of making small talk with the person who asked ("Oh, you're from Denver? Do you know the XYZ area?" "Uh... no."). Another part of this is that I'm New Yorker in attitude, personality and general demeanor and frankly me telling you that right off the bat will save us both a lot of time as far as you getting to know me.
7. Go Knicks! Go Liberty! Go Rangers! Go Mets! Go Yankees! In pretty much that order of importance!
8. I'm the youngest kid in my family. Older Brother is about 7 years older than I am, Elder Brother is 9.
9. The age difference, and my family's Roman Catholicism, made me ask my mom if I was an accident. She said no. The age difference was due to Older Brother being a difficult birth.
10. Not long after having me, my mother had a nervous breakdown. I was too little to remember it. I never felt responsible for it, but have accepted that it's a real chance that when I hit my early 30s I will also have one, esp since my maternal grandmother had one at about that age as well. My mother has tried to point out to me that Grandma had hers because one of her kids died but this doesn't make me feel obtimistic about my chances. The thought that I might have a breakdown doesn't make me scared. I'm just resigned to the possibility in the same way that I am to the fact that my hair will one day go grey and I just don't know when.
10a. I feel a need to point out I don't care overmuch about my hair going grey.
11. Mom's side of the family (Irish Catholics) is HUGE. I was born near the tail end of the cousin bell curve, with only 3 cousins being younger than me when I was growing up (4 now). Because of this, and the fact that Mom couldn't go to many family events after she got ill, I was often forgotten about in family correspondances. I therefore took it for granted that I was more or less invisible (metaphorically, not literally). I didn't take this personally, it just was. To this day I don't have hurt feelings when people stop talking to me. I'm used to being forgotten about (even though now I'm included in things and have been for decades).
12. On a related note, I have no idea what people think of me. I assume that unless they're talking to me, they don't. The idea that people would think about me when I'm not around is so inconceivable that I have absolutely no ability to guess what they would say, either good or bad. This isn't a self-esteem thing. I don't think I'm horrible or stupid or boring or anything like that. Quite the opposite. I just don't assume that people talk about me when I'm not around.
13. My maternal grandmother immigrated from Scotland. I'm told she had a very strong brogue. I never heard it because I was used to how she talked. to this day Scotch and Irish brogues have to be very thick for me to hear them.
14. I don't tend to talk about my personal life much. This either leads people to assume I don't have one, or it drives them (cough
lucifrixcough) nuts trying to figure out what sexuality I am.15. I'm bisexual.
16. I have very poor dykedar. Unless a woman is seriously butch I have no way of telling if she's gay or not. My gaydar is much better, for all the good that does me.
17. I never know when someone is flirting with/attracted to me. If you want me to know, tell me flat-out. Otherwise I'm going to assume no, even if, as more than one person has done, you're asking me what my favorite positions in bed are. Trust me, that's not blatent enough.
18. I've almost always been as outspoken as I am now. Even as a kid I never saw a reason why I couldn't or shouldn't let my voice be heard.
19. I suspect that growing up with two significantly older brothers was a factor in why I tended to be tougher than other kids my age. I also think this might be why I don't have a lot of stereotypical "girly" traits like math fear.
20. I leap to the defense of my friends and underdogs. Even as a kid I would get between bullies and the kids they were picking on. I never got into physical fights though. I'm sure you're surprised to find out that I was able to get people to back off just by yelling at them.
21. I don't leap to the defense of my friends if they're being jackasses.
22. I never got into the usual school dynamics. For example, in the 7th or 8th grade one girl got mad at me and said she was going to meet me after school for a fight (this was when I went to Catholic school so stop for a moment to ponder the humor of this girl waiting for me in the alley between our school and the church). I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard and walked right past her when school let out. She got angry and demanded that I stop and I pointed out that really, no, I didn't have to. I went home and there was no fight.
23. I didn't get along with most of my classmates in 7th and 8th grade. This was due in large part to me coming from public school and me being smarter than they were. I don't say that out of arrogance. One girl made repeated complaints to the teachers that she couldn't understand what I was saying because my vocabulary was better than hers. I didn't think much of that school.
24. Actually, I hate school. Always did. I don't know what turned me off to it back in elementary school, which is as far back as I can remember hating it. I was an excellent student and good grades came easily to me. If I had to guess I'd say it was because the teachers didn't respect my outspoken nature. Also I might have been bored a lot. No matter what it was, though, to this day I wouldn't go back to school no matter what I'd get in exchange for it.
25. I faked being sick a lot to get out of school. I found out later that this drove my mother bugnuts.
26. I was, however, actually sick a fair amount of the time as well. I had a sensitive stomach and once had to go on a diet of nothing but liquids for days. I hated it.
27. When I became chronically ill in college part of me couldn't help but feel that it was a karmic payback for all the times I faked being sick.
28. My illness in college was the one time I became something other than my outspoken self. I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis which hit me second semester freshman year and didn't get diagnosed for about two years. During that time I was constantly exhausted and had doctor after doctor telling me that I was making it up. This completely destroyed my personality. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until I was applying to be an RA and wrote down "Quiet and introverted" as my personality traits on the form as though that were normal for me. Once I had the epiphany of how bad I'd gotten I worked very hard to more or less rebuild myself from scratch.
29. As bad as all that was, I'm glad it happened. I came out of it stronger and, IMO, more self-assured than many other people my age.
30. I have a tattoo. It's of a panther and an orchid. I got it in response to a slew of bad things which happened during my college years (which included the illness). I figured if there were so many things bad that had happened and were going to last forever, I wanted to make something good that would last forever.
31. I also have an outer labia piercing which doesn't have nearly as much symbolic meaning. "Neat" was pretty much the motivation there. Also "why not?"
32. I consider myself a fairly good bullshit artist. Not great, just good. I do not BS for personal gain. Usually just to move a conversation (typically small talk) along.
33. It is therefore perhaps ironic (I can't decide) that I hate bullshit in other people most especially if it's done badly. I don't mind a little BS but if I can see your smoke and mirrors? Stop it. Right now. You're making the rest of us look bad.
34. I loathe the belief that ignorance is not only a point of view, it's something to be proud of. I don't just mean big ignorance like racism, but little things like people who look contemptously at others, tsk, and say something like "I don't watch Sci Fi/sports/the news/whatever" in a way that lets you know that they never even tried, can't be bothered, and not-so-subtly look down on you for not doing the same.
35. I hate phonies. I don't mind not giving a contrary opinion if you're trying to be polite (eg "I love Lord of the Rings" "What? Are you on CRACK? That movie SUCKED and I think anyone who liked it is a JERK!" being an example of such kind of contrary opinions. IMO it's fine to be polite and say "Yeah it was a nice film" and then move the conversation along.) but people who seem to have no opinion of their own save whatever the current public opinion is drive me nuts.
36. I likewise hate people who try to cling on and claim to be part of a group when they're only doing so to be fashionable. Especially if they've never done anything to actually earn the right to the claim.
37. I believe people should know what they're talking about. You don't have to have a doctorate in the subject or anything, but try to at least get the basic facts straight before spouting off.
38. Every so often I make a point of reading up on things I disagree with just to see the other point of view.
39. I've several friends who have very different viewpoints than mine. This doesn't interfere with the friendship.
40. I don't think any of my friends top the "different viewpoint" more than
lucifrix, who not only has different political and religious views than mine but also drinks Pepsi while I prefer Coke. Although I think we differed more when we met up in college than we do now41. I was a Republican for a while. Then I switched to Libertarian just to add numbers to a third party. I switched over to Democrat in order to vote for Bill Bradley in the 2000 presidental primaries.
42. I vote
43. I've never served jury duty (yet). I was called once, checked the thing that said "call me again in ____ months" and then moved to New Orleans. Then I never stayed in one place long enough. I assume I'll get called at some point in the near future now that I've settled down.
44. I'm pro-life. I don't look down on people for being pro-choice, I would never turn my back on anyone who had an abortion, I agree that the Georgia "execution" thing is disgusting, but if I ran the world abortions would never happen. I believe it's murder and I cannot understand the "it's just cells" point of view.
45. No, I don't want to argue about it. You have your opinion, I have mine. Yes, I have educated myself about the pro-choice opinion. I still disagree with it, thanks for asking.
46. I'm anti-death penalty.
47. I believe in God.
48. I grew up Roman Catholic.
49. I think Catholicism at heart is a good religion that people fucked up royally.
50. I don't go to Church, though, because I disagree with what people have done to Catholicism and because Masses don't speak to me
51. I practise a form of Catholic Paganism. No, I don't think the two are mutually exclusive. My morality is Catholic, my way of worshipping is Pagan.
52. I also belong to the Unitarian Universalist Church. I love my local UU but I can't get to it nearly as often as I'd like. This is mostly due to them having only one service a week at 10 am on a Sunday.
53. I think all forms of religion are valid. You can't get two people to agree on pizza toppings, I don't see why God would expect six billion to agree or even be able to find use in a single way to worship/deal with Him.
54. I have atheist friends and that's fine too. Whatever works for you is what works for you. Yours was the only vote that mattered.
55. I find it interesting, though, to talk to atheists who say "I look at the world and the universe as it is and think to myself 'obviously there is no God'" because honestly I, personally, look at the world and the universe as it is and draw the exact opposite conclusion. I don't say I'm right and they're wrong, just that I think it's interesting to see how two people can look at the same evidence and draw such wildly different views.
56. When bad things happen I assume it will all work out in the end. If nothing else I believe it's our jobs to make good out of bad because then otherwise we've got nobody but ourselves to blame when bad things have no meaning or goodness out of them.
57. Contrary to the net name, I'm a sweetie at heart. I believe people are inherently good. Doesn't mean there aren't assholes, just that my default belief for all people is that they're good.
58. I believe in putting good out into the world. I'm a very friendly person in my day to day interactions.
59. I believe in manners. I was floored when I went to college and saw classmates who thought it was acceptable to, as for example, go up to the cafeteria workers and say "gimme". Please and thank you. Not that hard.
60. I know table manners but I'm not always good about practicing them to a T. My worst is elbows on the table. OTOH I don't eat with my fingers unless it's finger food and I don't lick my fingers unless I'm relaxing with friends and a bag of Doritos that's all my own - or I'm trying to seduce someone ;)
61. Occasionally I am stunned when I see other people who think it's okay to lick your fingers when you're in a nice restaurant. I don't shun them or anything but I get amazed that something so basic wasn't taught to someone.
62. I believe waitressing is a difficult job that I would never be able to do. I tip accordingly.
63. I do look down on people who think that there's no reason to tip in an American restaurant, or to tip extra for good service.
64. I think how someone treats someone serving them - be it a waiter or the salesclerk at your local Blockbuster - is a good indication of how they are as a person in much the same way that torturing animals is a good indication that someone's going to become a mass murderer. If you can't treat servers with respect and courtesy you are an asshole who will never be worth knowing as a close friend.
65. I'm fairly good with math. I can calcuate a tip easily and do quick guesstimates of other problems in my head. I just couldn't make exact change in my head quickly enough to do it at a register if the computer wasn't doing it for me.
66. I'm a bit of a gossip, but OTOH I don't stab people in the back. If I'm bitching to you about someone I've either already bitched to that person or I'm getting ready to bitch to that person and I just need to get my thoughts in order first.
67. I don't know what to do when I've tried approaching a friend I'm having problems with (general friend, not "a friend" meaning "I won't mention names to protect the inncent") and they don't hear me.
68. My mom is schitzo-affective. This means she's both schitzophrenic and suffers from depression.
69. Because I grew up with someone who was mentally ill, I think I'm more aware and tolerant of it than the average bear.
70. I also majored in psychology in college and read up on psych for fun, which also helps.
71. I've got a fairly good ability to deal with the various forms of mental illness I come across except for bipolar. I'm tapped out on bipolar people. (With the exception of my current friends. What I mean is that I just don't have it in me to take on new friends who are bipolar - or at least to be their support system).
72. A quick way to drive me bugnuts is to put me in front of a manic person who's tra la laing about how they're not ill, they're special. It would proabably be a good idea to chain me up before doing this because I will pimp slap that person into the middle of next week.
73. Ditto for putting me in front of a manic person who refuses to take their meds.
74. Because I'm not unaware of ironic karma, I do occasionally wonder that when/if I have my breakdown if I will turn out to be bipolar.
75. OTOH I did suffer from depression in the past so who knows?
76. My depression was during my illness in college and was an offshoot of said illness. Because my major symptom was being tired I spent almost all of my time beating myself up for not trying hard enough.
77. To this day I still get into that mental diatribe everytime I call in sick to work. Even if I'm vomiting up my lungs I still think I could have avoided the whole thing if I'd slept more or taken better care of myself and I'm a failure and blah bing blah. It's not so much that I believe it as it's a learned behavior I haven't kicked yet.
78. Because of my illness, I didn't graduate college with everyone else. I failed one of the classes I had to take for my major. I found out at the last minute and was a wreck. I almost didn't go to the ceremony but my dad and brother convinced me to do it anyway. I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad I saw the changing of the guard at Buckingham - ie this way I can say I did it - but I can't say it was big fun either.
79. I am a college graduate though. I took a summer course that started a few days after I went home and passed it with flying colors. That was all that was needed.
80. Failing the class was mostly my fault in that by that time I'd had enough teachers dick me over when I told them I had a disability that kept me from going to class (helped in part by the head of Disability services turning into a bitch who, amongst other things, tried to get me fired from my job) that by senior year I gave up on telling them. They always assumed I was a slacker anyway so I didn't see the point. So when the end of the year rolled around and all this prof knew was that I didn't score high enough on the tests and I failed the big paper and hardly ever showed up to class - I can't say I totally blame him for thinking I didn't give a rat's ass.
81. OTOH - I did badly on the tests not because I didn't understand or study, but because my illness made it very hard for me to concentrate. I could do essay questions but couldn't concentrate long enough to do multiple choice or - even worse - matching. I literally lived the college nightmare for three years (the one where you show up for a test that you studied for but you try to read the questions and they make no sense). It was bad enough that in a multiple choice by the time I got down to D I would completely forget what the question was.
82. I've also always suspected - not in a "I didn't deserve to be failed!" way, just in a "Things that make you go hmmm" way - that another reason why the prof gave me low grades was because I delberately chose a paper topic to piss him off. He started the class that semester with a completely non-sequitor diatribe about child abuse and kids making it up and blah bling blah to the point that I and a few friends were fairly certain he was accused himself. The class was on human memory so I on purpose picked the topic of repressed childhood memories. I made a point of writing it to be technically flawless but he still not only gave it a bad grade (I think it got a D) but used it as an example to the rest of the class of what shouldn't be done.
83. I don't smoke. My mom smoked while I was in the womb and I like to say that that was more than enough for me. (She also smoked for most of my life but quit a few years ago.)
84. I don't do drugs. The thought of being stoned gives me the wig. I won't even take cold medicine that makes you sleepy.
85. My mom's side of the family is made up of alcoholics. Apparently my maternal grandfather was such a drunk that my mom often stepped over him when he'd passed out in a local park. He did sober up later in life though, as have at least some of my aunts and uncles.
86. My mom, thankfully, is not an alcoholic. But the prevalance of alcoholism in my cousins is enough to make me back off drinking. I drink very rarely. Like Haley's comet rarely.
87. I think champagne is a cruel joke. It tastes nothing like what it looks like.
88. I feel the same way about all forms of berries.
89. A couple of years ago I made the decision that there was no reason not to try things I've never done before. As a result of this I taught myself crosstitch, crochet, decorative painting, cooking and tried my hand at sketching and learning German. Of these, I actually successfully learned crossstich, can do simple crochet and decorative painting and am apparently not a half-bad cook. Sketching I never quite got down although I'd still like to learn and I keep forgetting to set aside time for German. I did learn enough German to muddle through when I was in Hamburg though. I also keep my eye out for new things to learn.
90. For a little while I felt guilty about not finishing some of my crosstitch, crochet and painting projects but then stupidly realized that while I can do these things it doesn't mean I'm passionate about them. Now I play with them from time to time whenever I feel like it and don't feel bad if I don't touch them.
91. I looooooove cooking. I've found that I'm of the Jamie Oliver (Naked Chef) school - I'm for any recipe that understands you can have fun with this and not be obsessive compulsive about having exactly this or that. I make it a point now to try - hum - I guess it averages out to four new recipes a month. (Bear in mind I live alone so one meal lasts me a week).
92. I enjoy being domestic. Cooking and crafty things make me happy. I'm horrible with cleaning though. I hate to dust and I only do a full-on housecleaning about once a month. But OTOH I tend to tidy up after myself so it's not that I live in a pigsty, it's just that the carpet doesn't get vaccumed that often.
93. I'm a bit of a procrastinator. If I don't do something right away it might get put into a near permanent "on hold" status. Thank goodness for online bill paying, which has saved me from late fees on many a time.
94. I've several ideas for books in my head. I honestly don't know which one will get published first.
95. I don't talk about things sometimes because I need to keep some plans to myself or I'll never get them done. For example, I didn't tell anyone about my tattoo until after I got it. Likewise I won't talk much about the projects I'm working on.
96. Years of watching things like Hometime have made me fairly handy. I couldn't rewire a house but I can at least understand simple household tasks. I also have a kick-ass tool set that was a Christmas gift from a few years back. It's so impressive that even contractors drool over it. Now all I need is a drill.
97. I'm not much of a girly girl. I go through phases of wearing makeup and jewelry, then I go back to my usual earrings and no makeup. I tend to avoid makeup, too, because when I wore it a lot I once found myself looking at my no-makeup reflection in the mirror and going "Ugh!" I then decided I wasn't going to deliberately do something to myself which made me hate the real me.
98. I've never been able to understand girls who can't leave the house without makeup on. I tend to have a Chris Rock reaction to this: "They still make you?"
99. While I consider myself a good public speaker, I also point to the fact that I've had years of practise. I'm not what you'd call shy ;) However, it always surprises me when I speak off the cuff and then later people come to me and say how well-spoken I was, particularly in terms of my word choice. I mean I'm glad they like it but I was just talking. Doesn't everyone?
100. For all its various quirks, I am constantly grateful to have been born into the family I have. My parents are amazing folks who truly understand the concept of unconditional support and love, and for all that my brothers are occasionally Devons I know we'll always have each other's backs. I know that if I'm a nifty person to be around, it's thanks to the way I was raised.
And for those that asked while I was working on this - I found I didn't have to cheat. In fact there were a few other things I might have mentioned but it's way past my bed-time at the moment so... no. ;)
