![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thebratqueenGather 'round, children, and I shall tell you a tale. It's a true tale, where the names have been omitted for privacy's sake, and the conversations have been condensed to remove repetition, but it happened sure as I'm sitting here today. Or tomorrow. This is my favorite spot on the couch, I sit here often.
The place: work
The time: 1pm
The characters: Me, my boss, and the owner of the nearby pizza place. To make things easy we'll call the owner of the pizza place Rob. Rob is not his real name. His real name is Bob. Or so I am told. We didn't get around to introductions.
Now then, picture it,
It has come to be the one o'clock hour and my boss hasn't eaten lunch yet. Knowing that he'll forget to feed himself if I don't remind him, I ask if he wants me to order him something. He decides to have something not the norm. Thus he says unto me "You know that pizza place across the street? And that spinach salad that I usually get with chicken? Find out if they do steak instead. If not, I'll do chicken." And he hands me a $20 bill with which to pay, and off he goes to do business like matters.
I dial the phone and place the order forthwith. I say "You know your spinach salad? Do you guys ever do that with steak instead of chicken?" Says the owner, Rob, unto me, "Yeah, we can do that for you." I say let's have that, and a bottle of water please, and is that something he would deliver or should I run across the street to pick it up? He says it can be delivered, and there we are.
Now at the fine offices of Primatech we have a system for deliveries. When you've placed an order you can let the receptionist know and leave the money for said order with him so that the poor delivery person isn't sitting there cooling their heels while you try to get your act together and make it to the front of the office. Normally this works out fine. Normally we are not dealing with a Twenty dollar salad.
So flash forward, if you will, fifty minutes later when I get the call that the food is there. There's some confusion regarding another order that came in at the same time, so on the phone all I am aware of is that the bottle of water that was also ordered was missing. I say not to worry about it and just cross that off the bill. The delivery person happily does this, because doing so means that they can flee for their lives before I discover that they have delivered a twenty dollar salad.
I and the receptionist discover what has transpired when I get up to the front, open the bag, and reveal the ordered salad, along with the receipt. Said receipt informs us that the spinach of the spinach salad costs $8. The meat, $10. Because the steak in question is filet mignon.
Allow me to remind you that I had called a pizza place. Perhaps a better pizza place than, say, a pizza place found within a hut, but a pizza place all the same. I did not accidentally dial Nobu, or Tom Colicchio's apartment. Also bear in mind that if I'd ordered the salad with chicken the cost would've been about $10 total.
Also note that within the bag was the salad, and the meat, but no forks, knives, or napkins. Which is perhaps just as well since in today's economy we might've had problem securing the loan to pay for them.
I bring the salad to my boss so that he can at least eat a twenty dollar salad while it's still warm. I alert him to the price and he is thankfully not the kind of boss who freaks out about this sort of thing. Instead he takes it in stride and we all joke about how next time we'll have to specify that we weren't looking for Kobe beef.
I then get back to my desk and give Rob, over at the pizza place, a call.
Here is where I am shortening and paraphrasing, but not making it up.
Rob: Hello?
Me: Hi, this is [TBQ] over at Primatech. I ordered that steak salad that you delivered?
Rob: Yes, I remember. What can I do for you?
Me: I wanted to find out why I wasn't given a heads-up that having steak on the salad was going to be such a price hike.
Rob: I assumed you knew.
Me: How would I know? I asked if you did steak on the salad at all. That would imply I'm not aware it exists, let alone aware of what it costs.
Rob: We only tell customers the price if they ask. You didn't ask the price, you asked if you could get steak.
Me: You don't think that when the addition of something increases the cost of the item over 100% you should give your customer a heads-up?
Rob: If you ordered filet mignon as an entree it would cost you $30. I thought giving it to you for $10 was a nice deal.
Me: I'm not arguing the price of filet mignon. I'm sure it's a fine price for filet mignon. If the salad came with lobster I'm sure it's a good price for lobster. I'm saying that I didn't ask for filet mignon, I asked for steak. There are a lot of the parts of a cow you could've chosen.
Rob: Oh really? So you want me to put some fatty, gristley piece of chuck on there?
Me: You're aware fat and gristle can be trimmed off, right?
Rob: You can't improve chuck! Nothing you do to chuck will make it taste good.
Me: If you know what you're doing you can make chuck taste just fine. Also you could've put a flank steak on that salad and it would've also been fine.
Rob: In 30 years of me being here nobody has ever complained! My customers ask for things and I give them to them!
Me: Really. Not once in 30 years has anyone had a problem with getting something from you that was over 100% more than what they expected it to cost?
Rob: It was a special request. If you go into a restaurant and order something extra you get charged extra. Everybody knows that!
Me: Yes, but if I'm in a restaurant I have a menu and can read the prices on it.
Rob: I don't. I go out every night and not once do I look. I just order and don't think about it.
Me: Well if I made twenty bucks off of salad I'm sure I could do that too. But the issue here is I asked for the special request and you didn't tell me it was going to cost so much more than the $8 lettuce it was sitting on.
Rob: I'm sorry we assume our customers are smart and know what they're asking for.
Me: I'm sorry I'm so smart I don't have time to sit around memorizing your menu.
Rob: So what do you want me to do about it?
Me: Apparently nothing. I suppose if nothing else I can let you know that in 30 years you have now had a complaint, so you can mark that down on your records. Also your delivery person forgot the bottle of water, but that turned out okay since that enabled us to afford your $20 salad. At least I'm getting a good story out of this.
Rob: Whatever.
The ultimate punchline? When I talked to my boss later he said no way was that cut of beef filet mignon.
As for how it tasted, he replied "Expensive."
The place: work
The time: 1pm
The characters: Me, my boss, and the owner of the nearby pizza place. To make things easy we'll call the owner of the pizza place Rob. Rob is not his real name. His real name is Bob. Or so I am told. We didn't get around to introductions.
Now then, picture it,
It has come to be the one o'clock hour and my boss hasn't eaten lunch yet. Knowing that he'll forget to feed himself if I don't remind him, I ask if he wants me to order him something. He decides to have something not the norm. Thus he says unto me "You know that pizza place across the street? And that spinach salad that I usually get with chicken? Find out if they do steak instead. If not, I'll do chicken." And he hands me a $20 bill with which to pay, and off he goes to do business like matters.
I dial the phone and place the order forthwith. I say "You know your spinach salad? Do you guys ever do that with steak instead of chicken?" Says the owner, Rob, unto me, "Yeah, we can do that for you." I say let's have that, and a bottle of water please, and is that something he would deliver or should I run across the street to pick it up? He says it can be delivered, and there we are.
Now at the fine offices of Primatech we have a system for deliveries. When you've placed an order you can let the receptionist know and leave the money for said order with him so that the poor delivery person isn't sitting there cooling their heels while you try to get your act together and make it to the front of the office. Normally this works out fine. Normally we are not dealing with a Twenty dollar salad.
So flash forward, if you will, fifty minutes later when I get the call that the food is there. There's some confusion regarding another order that came in at the same time, so on the phone all I am aware of is that the bottle of water that was also ordered was missing. I say not to worry about it and just cross that off the bill. The delivery person happily does this, because doing so means that they can flee for their lives before I discover that they have delivered a twenty dollar salad.
I and the receptionist discover what has transpired when I get up to the front, open the bag, and reveal the ordered salad, along with the receipt. Said receipt informs us that the spinach of the spinach salad costs $8. The meat, $10. Because the steak in question is filet mignon.
Allow me to remind you that I had called a pizza place. Perhaps a better pizza place than, say, a pizza place found within a hut, but a pizza place all the same. I did not accidentally dial Nobu, or Tom Colicchio's apartment. Also bear in mind that if I'd ordered the salad with chicken the cost would've been about $10 total.
Also note that within the bag was the salad, and the meat, but no forks, knives, or napkins. Which is perhaps just as well since in today's economy we might've had problem securing the loan to pay for them.
I bring the salad to my boss so that he can at least eat a twenty dollar salad while it's still warm. I alert him to the price and he is thankfully not the kind of boss who freaks out about this sort of thing. Instead he takes it in stride and we all joke about how next time we'll have to specify that we weren't looking for Kobe beef.
I then get back to my desk and give Rob, over at the pizza place, a call.
Here is where I am shortening and paraphrasing, but not making it up.
Rob: Hello?
Me: Hi, this is [TBQ] over at Primatech. I ordered that steak salad that you delivered?
Rob: Yes, I remember. What can I do for you?
Me: I wanted to find out why I wasn't given a heads-up that having steak on the salad was going to be such a price hike.
Rob: I assumed you knew.
Me: How would I know? I asked if you did steak on the salad at all. That would imply I'm not aware it exists, let alone aware of what it costs.
Rob: We only tell customers the price if they ask. You didn't ask the price, you asked if you could get steak.
Me: You don't think that when the addition of something increases the cost of the item over 100% you should give your customer a heads-up?
Rob: If you ordered filet mignon as an entree it would cost you $30. I thought giving it to you for $10 was a nice deal.
Me: I'm not arguing the price of filet mignon. I'm sure it's a fine price for filet mignon. If the salad came with lobster I'm sure it's a good price for lobster. I'm saying that I didn't ask for filet mignon, I asked for steak. There are a lot of the parts of a cow you could've chosen.
Rob: Oh really? So you want me to put some fatty, gristley piece of chuck on there?
Me: You're aware fat and gristle can be trimmed off, right?
Rob: You can't improve chuck! Nothing you do to chuck will make it taste good.
Me: If you know what you're doing you can make chuck taste just fine. Also you could've put a flank steak on that salad and it would've also been fine.
Rob: In 30 years of me being here nobody has ever complained! My customers ask for things and I give them to them!
Me: Really. Not once in 30 years has anyone had a problem with getting something from you that was over 100% more than what they expected it to cost?
Rob: It was a special request. If you go into a restaurant and order something extra you get charged extra. Everybody knows that!
Me: Yes, but if I'm in a restaurant I have a menu and can read the prices on it.
Rob: I don't. I go out every night and not once do I look. I just order and don't think about it.
Me: Well if I made twenty bucks off of salad I'm sure I could do that too. But the issue here is I asked for the special request and you didn't tell me it was going to cost so much more than the $8 lettuce it was sitting on.
Rob: I'm sorry we assume our customers are smart and know what they're asking for.
Me: I'm sorry I'm so smart I don't have time to sit around memorizing your menu.
Rob: So what do you want me to do about it?
Me: Apparently nothing. I suppose if nothing else I can let you know that in 30 years you have now had a complaint, so you can mark that down on your records. Also your delivery person forgot the bottle of water, but that turned out okay since that enabled us to afford your $20 salad. At least I'm getting a good story out of this.
Rob: Whatever.
The ultimate punchline? When I talked to my boss later he said no way was that cut of beef filet mignon.
As for how it tasted, he replied "Expensive."
