thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (GUC: Do something with your life)
People! You must run, not walk, to Stoney's first post about Twilight. This is [livejournal.com profile] stoney321, people! She of the sexy snark and snarky Mormon-fu about sexy snarking!

READ NOW! READ NOW AND PESTER HER FOR MORE OF IT! WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS POST WHEN YOU CAN BE CLICKING THAT LINK? SHOO! GO! GO NOW!!!
thebratqueen: Cottage (Siam)
There are many factors behind the sub-prime meltdown, but dear God people with unrealistic expectations have to be up there. I say this as I watch My First Home on TLC. "It's my first house! I don't have a down payment! I live alone with no pets or kids! I refuse to buy a house that doesn't have at least three bedrooms, two baths, a fireplace, new stainless steel appliances in the kitchen, granite countertops, and a pool! ANYTHING LESS IS ASKING ME TO SLUM IT OMG!"

But really that's all part of the credit and debt problems in this country. We all get so used to being told we can have it now and worry about paying for it later. But I already did that mini-rant back when I talked about commercials, so I'll just get off this soapbox.

Moving on to another soapbox, WTF with the Lysol commercial that tells us that it cleans germs in our toilets all the way down to the s-curve? Why do we NEED to get germs out of the s-curve? I don't even think House has dared to suggest that you can contract a deadly disease that only exists in the s-curve of your toilet and this is the show that let us all know bra hooks can kill us. I'm pretty sure even Howard Hughs was like "Eh, not worth losing sleep over" when asked about s-curve germs. In fact, I will go so far as to say if microscopic things in the s-curve are bothering you that much, perhaps cleanliness is not your biggest problem.

Now to ponder naps.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Obama)
Thanks to Hillary Clinton's 3 a.m. ad, CNN is currently doing a poll of "Who would you prefer to have answer a White House crisis phone call at 3 a.m.?" Your options are McCain, Huckabee, Clinton, and Obama.

Am I insane for wanting a fifth option of "Somebody other than the President of the United States who is responsible for picking up the phone at 3 a.m. so that the leader of the free world can get some sleep and not run the risk of having to deal with telemarketers?"

Perhaps I take things too literally.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Tim is concerned)
Someone brought brownie bites into the breakroom today. I don't know who they are, but I love them.

While at the store yesterday I spied apples inside of a plastic container dealy that's kind of like plastic egg cartons only 1) for apples and 2) for only four apples, as opposed to a dozen.

Curious as to why apples would need to be treated with the sort of care that one might reserve for the Hope diamond, assuming the Hope diamond needed to be treated like an egg, I went over to take a look.

Turns out they were Grapples. Apples that taste like grapes.

Now you, like me, might be thinking "Huh, some variety of apples that naturally taste sorta-kinda like grapes, ergo a marketing hook." You, like me, would be wrong. Instead they are regular apples which are injected with, according to the label on the package (but not on their website that I can find) artificial grape flavoring.

At which point I stand there and stare and wonder to myself how exactly does any of this work? Remember my befuddlement over cinnamon sugar? And how making cinnamon sugar is easier than anything involved in making what you would put the cinnamon sugar on, ergo why I did not get the need for a premade cinnamon sugar shortcut?

This is me only more beffudled about grapples. Because... nobody can get their hands on an apple that's already sweet and therefore palatable for children? Because you honestly and seriously cannot come up with another answer to the question of "If I want to feed my kids fruit and something that tastes like grapes, what would I give them?" Or perhaps because you were saying to yourself that you liked the idea of eating more natural foods, but not without finding a way to add chemicals to the mix?

I... yeah. Huh??
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (sexy)
Actual work conversation today:

Me: Anything I can help you with?
Co-worker: Can you get me the gun?
Me: Which one?
Co-worker: The one I can use to shoot myself with?
Me: So not the rifle then, huh?

(Note: No actual guns are kept at the Primatech office)

(...that I know of)

Like many folks, I watched the VMAs. And, like the gossip addict that I am, I hunted down all the information about the aftermath. It's good to know Britney's time in rehab has helped her embrace the first step of admitting that everyone else is the problem. It's a shame Tyra's in New York now. I'd love to see her face Brit down with "When I was sixteen years old I had to do the introduction to the entire Paris Fall Fashion season while wearing nothing but a sequined g-string and a puff of glitter and both of my stiletto heels broke and David Copperfield gave my routine away to Claudia Schiffer and I had to replace my weave with the plastic left over from a six-pack of Diet Pepsi and Andrew Dice Clay came on before and after to make fun of me and my mama BUT I STILL KEPT MY MODEL AND STOPPED THE HOOCHIE AND MADE IT FIERCE!"

'cause you know she's got that story.

In unrelated news, I need recs please. I'm jonesing for one of my fav. fic kinks which has no pithy name (...does anything of mine?) but which could be described as "I want/love you really badly but telling you that would ruin our friendshipor familial relationship Harry/Sirius, Sam/Dean, Petrellis I'm looking at YOU but something in this story is going to force that truth to come out, and then we'll have really hot sex."

So... make some links to fic like that happen for me people. Or, yanno, write me some new stuff. *claps hands* Chop chop.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (dumber than Fanlib)
I'm not coherent enough for letter writing yet (well, other than this one) so instead I make icons.

Base shamelessly stolen from [livejournal.com profile] originality. TDS-style joke stolen from [livejournal.com profile] airawyn.

Icons are totally gankable.


thebratqueen: Jon Stewart is not making this up (not making this up)
(credit to [livejournal.com profile] airawyn for TDS joke suggestion)

Don't have HUGE amounts of time thanks to work being crazy-making today, but wanted to pass this on:

hxxp://suesviews2.blogspot.com/

Replace the xx with tt. This is the woman who runs Warriors for Increasing the Odds that Actual Child Abusers Will Not Get Arrested. As you can see from scrolling through her entries, she's a peach.

(She links to the Warriors site on the blog and says it's her, so I'm not giving out any info here she hasn't given out herself.)

ETA: It's possible that going to the Warriors site could give you spyware. Not 100% confirmed as of me typing this, but since it doesn't hurt to do scans for spyware on a regular basis anyway...

I'm OLD

May. 23rd, 2007 10:04 am
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Dexter orly?)
So I'm driving into work and I'm listening to the radio. This commercial comes on. It's these male and female voices saying, basically, "Mom, Dad, now that we've graduated we should have a [brand name] cellphone!" and goes on to talk about how the phones are reasonably priced and the monthly plans are good too. And how "after four years" they deserve it.

My response?

"IF YOU WANT A CELL PHONE GET YOUR GRADUATED ASS A JOB!"

Sheesh!
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (confused)
So I'm driving into work this morning, as is my wont, and the radio plays one of those Mastercard "Priceless" commercials. As these commercials have been playing since the Hawley-Smoot Tariff was relevant in current events we all know how they go and for the most part tune them out. However, today I got caught. Here's what the commercial was:

Crying baby, parent takes the kid for a car ride in the middle of the night. Voiceover says:

"Gas at 3:30am Tuesday: $25
Gas at 2:45 am Thursday: $43
Gas at 5:10am Saturday: $39"

And then the usual tagline about a good night's sleep for the kid is priceless.

Now I'm obviously not remembering the times and amounts exactly but I'm close enough for government work and therefore rather than thinking I gotta get me one of them Mastercards, my actual reaction is:

How far are they driving this child and how shitty is their gas milage that this is how often they have to fill the tank??

I mean okay, granted that they're probably using the car to drive to work and what have you, but still, filling the frikkin' thing up every couple of days?? I can drive my car from NYC to Baltimore on a single tank of gasoline. And filling my tank costs me between $20-25 depending on the prices that day, and that's living in a town that has a very hefty gas tax so I guarantee that unless you live in, say, Los Angeles or Europe you're not paying more than me.

So really all this ad makes me want to do is pull these folks aside and explain maybe they should ditch the Hummer and the five gallons to the mile that they're currently getting and possibly look into investing in a hybrid. Especially since they're apparently driving their child along the Appalachian Trail and back again, so let's not even get into what their emissions are doing for the environment either.

Sheesh.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Niki divided)
Yay Heroes is back! *wubs and cuddles show to bosom* I missed it so! And it was full of squee!

I found out that behind the scenes info for one squeeable scene )

I also watched S60.

...

Boy Heroes was real fun last night, huh? :D

Also I don't get Deal or No Deal. They open suitcases. For an hour. How is this fascinating?

Oh for...

Nov. 18th, 2006 01:10 am
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (PCLU)
Someone wrote into the local letters to the editor encouraging people to write to Congress to encourage them to hold hearings against the ACLU because the only thing the ACLU does is try to remove God and prayer from schools.

You just KNOW I'm not gonna let that pass.

The email I just sent:

I am writing with regard to [John Doe]'s letter about the ACLU. Contrary to Mr. [Doe]'s claims, the ACLU actually exists to help protect the Bill of Rights, as stated on their website: http://www.aclu.org/about/index.html.

I confess to being curious as to why Mr. [Doe] thinks that Congress should hold hearings against an organization that seeks to help preserve our country's Constitution. Does he not like having a right to due process, privacy, equal protection under the law, or freedom of speech? If so, isn't it rather ironic that he chose to say so in a letter to the editor of his local newspaper?

Sincerely,
[TBQ]
ACLU member
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Lord Vizzle)
The NY Daily News? PWNS. This was the actual cover of their front page today:

thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (AK pimping fic)
Remember the ads on spare tire covers that said "Hummer by Karl"? And how I giggled like a schoolgirl at that because I'm three and hate Hummers anyway?

At work today I saw a Hummer with that cover, only the "by" had been scratched out. I am far, far too amused that apparently at least one of the Hummer owners caught on.

In other news y'all need to start watching Dexter. Because it is awesome.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Seth)
I went to the Ren Faire, yay!

I ate yummy food and window shopped vendors I couldn't afford and bought a couple of things that I could and saw fun performances, yay!

I also kept a close eye on my health, left when I started to feel run down, and made sure that tonight would be a quiet and restful one just to be on the safe side.

Huzzah!

So basically my deserving of cookies continues to abound. Go me.

On a bitchier note, cabaret dancers really need to not dress Tribal style. There was a belly dance performance at the Faire and while both dancers had good enough skill, the one dressed Tribal style looked like a moron. Not just because she was dressing outside her genre, but frankly because the clothes, when done well, highlight what you're doing. She looked a right git trying to show off what were geniunely skilled hip work underneath the heavy skirts and scarves that are meant to compliment Tribal movements.

And now I catch up on my flist.

More on me

Aug. 9th, 2006 11:08 am
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (the Dude)
Stitch n Bitch actually went off yesterday. Color me shocked, SHOCKED I tell you.

It was a weetiny group, but the girls were nice. We're going to try to do something every Tuesday. I got some more work done on my hat, which I shall eventually blog about over in the craft journal.

(Get me using blog as a verb, oooooooooo)

Also voted yesterday. You're welcome. BTW, can somebody tell Joe to stop calling the attack on his website "Roveian tactics"? Because Roveian tactics would be taking down the website yourself and accusing your opponant of being the one to do it, NOT THAT I MADE ANY ASSUMPTIONS AS SOON AS I SAW THE NEWS STORY, JOE, OH NO.

BTW, y'all should head on over to Stoney's LJ to find out about the homophobic gardening company. Because everybody knows only straight people buy flowers.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (French Treatment)
It's not that I got stuck driving behind an H2 on my way home from work.

It's not that the owner of said vehicle had apparently decided to give his or her patronage to Karl's Chevrolet.

It's that the official advertising placed on the cover of the vehicle's spare tire said, I swear to god, "Hummer by Karl"

Bwee hee hee hee hee....
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Shut up)
Boss, yesterday: Tomorrow afternoon, after I'm gone, can you do X, Y, and Z?
Me, yesterday: No problem!

Boss, today: Why haven't you done X, Y, and Z yet?
Me, today: Because... you're... still... here?

In related news, I've discovered there are certain things that simply render me speechless. Idiots who don't know what they're talking about re: abused woman? No problem! But racism, apparently, breaks my brain. Or at least flat-out racism that doesn't even have any logic in and of itself.

Like if somebody said to me "I don't see the point of affirmative action." that could be a conversation. There could be some debate there. However if someone says, as someone in New Orleans once did, cut for something more offensive than the N-word ) I am so staggered that I literally don't have words. A strong desire to hit, certainly, but beyond that I suspect there actually aren't any words that someone could say. We're looking at someone who's brain is so utterly deficient that they not only felt their comment was non-offensive, but funny. Clearly there's an IQ barrier happening that a pithy phrase is not going to cut through.

This relates to my job in that my idiot boss has an idiot friend who tries my patience on the best of occasions, but yesterday just floored me.
More on idiot boss's idiot friend and his so-called definition of non-offensive humor )

In other news I'm still feeling sick. Lunch is gonna be interesting. Cereal anyone?

You know...

Apr. 7th, 2006 03:50 pm
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (the girls)
...you hear about straight, white men claiming to be the abused minority in this country, but you never really expect to meet any in the wild.

Today I met two )
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (NOLA)
I know that reading the local letters to the editor is only a way to make my head go all desky, but sometimes it happens more than others.

For instance today, when I see a letter from a few days ago that says, in essense, "I'm tired of seeing Bush get blamed for Katrina! He didn't cause the hurricane!" Sigh. SIGH.

Also there's a letter that talks about the federal judge who says that "Under god" in the pledge is unconstitutional. Said reader says he would like to point out to the judge that this is the same god that is mentioned in the Constitution.

Now is my google-fu weak or is God actually not mentioned in the Constitution, except in that roundabout way in the first amendment? Because boy would that be funny.
thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (the girls)
Memo

From: TBQ
To: Rank amateurs

Dear people who have posted to boards I am on with requests that are like unto: "OMG where do I find bras/cholis/costumes for really big busted gals like myself?! I'm a D cup."

Get out of my way, you amateurs.

Signed,
TDDDQ

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thebratqueen: Captain Marvel (Default)
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